Out to dinner with the crew, somehow the conversation turned to who, exactly, the whitest member of our group was. Don’t ask me how.
Daniel: I am the epitome of whiteness.
Mike: So am I.
Me: you can’t both be the epitome of whiteness. By definition, there can only be one epitome. We need to rate you guys on a Whiteness Scale. On one end will be Olympic Snowboarder Shaun White. On the other, ironically, is the ultimate in blackness, Barry White.
Daniel: I’m going to Utah for Mardi Gras.
Me: You just got a few points.
Conversations are not transcribed verbatim. They are altered for length, to provide appropriate context, and to make them funnier whenever necessary. Frankly, all you can count on in these posts is that at some point, I had a conversation with somebody about some subject.