Blake’s Universal Rule of the Universe #76
76. When you kick your good friend Sleep out the door far too early five days in a row, don’t be surprised on a Friday afternoon when he mugs your ass and leaves you for dead.
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Blake’s Universal Rule of the Universe #74
74. The next time you think to yourself, “such a small detail can’t possibly make a difference,” stop and FIX IT. Because yes, it can.
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Blake’s Universal Rule of the Universe #73
73. People who flip out over the first announcement of many are probably the same ones that quit reading books after the first chapter if they don’t already know every damn detail.
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Blake’s Universal Rule of the Universe #72
72. Kids should get tokens for naps they don’t want to take, which would be redeemable as adults for all those time we wants naps and don’t have the time. Also, I’m sleepy.
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Blake’s Universal Rule of the Universe #71
71. If I buy something from your website, you don’t need to start sending me your paper catalog. I no longer need paper catalogs. I have the internet.
(I’m lookin’ at you, Oriental Trading.)
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Blake’s Universal Rule of the Universe #70
70. Illegal downloading is wrong. But Disney making people who want a digital copy of Tangled, Tron: Legacy or A Christmas Carol pay for a 3-D version that will look like crap on their home television sets in order to get the digital copy is not going to convince anybody of this.
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Blake’s Universal Rule of the Universe #69
69. Students and teachers often disagree, but both demographics will rank “as soon as the bell rings on Friday afternoon” as the best time of the average week.
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Blake’s Universal Rule of the Universe #67:
67. Teachers have to keep in the relative ages of their former students in mind at all times. One of the most uncomfortable phrases a human being could hear would be, “Welcome to Hooter’s! Oh… Mr. Smith… it’s you…”
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65. The kindest prank the universe will ever pull on you is give you good news, then tell you not to tell everyone… yet.
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