Archive for October, 2010


2 in 1 Showcase Episode 194: The Halloween Special Special

Happy Halloween, Showcase listeners! This week, the boys sit down to talk about some of their favorite Halloween specials, movies, comics, and TV shows, including a horrific revelation about Mike! (You may want to cover the kids’ ears for this one.) In the picks, Mike recommends volume one of The Boys, Kenny goes Halloween with Superman/Batman #77, and Blake goes with Ragman: Suit of Souls #1. Contact us with comments, suggestions, or anything else at!

Music provided by the Music Alley from Mevio.

Episode 194: The Halloween Special Special



Tales of the Curtain (Evercast #36)

Greetings, friends! Tomorrow is Halloween, and I’ve got a little treat for you here in this BONUS episode of the Evercast! I’ve launched an all-new writing experiment at Tales of the, and this special Evercast will give you a special presentation of what amounts to the prologue of that new venture. At exactly 8 a.m. GMT on Oct. 15, creatures from nightmare begin to strike innocent people all over the world. Where did they come from? Why are they striking now? Those are the questions the Tales of the Curtain will try to answer. Listen in, join me twice a week at Tales of the for new installments of the story, and have a very Happy Halloween!

Tales of the Curtain (Evercast #36)

Theme music by Jeff Hendricks. Evercast logo by Heather Petit-Keller.

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Halloween Party: Ghostopolis

If you’ve heard of Doug TenNapel, it could be because of his classic video game creation Earthworm Jim, but in the last few years he’s really become a force in making original graphic novels. From Creature Tech to Black Cherry to Tommysaurus Rex, TenNapel has become a favorite of mine. His newest book, a graphic novel for young readers, came out earlier this year from Scholastic Publishing’s Graphix imprint. It’s a nice little tale perfect for the Halloween season, and it may be his best work yet.

Ghostopolis takes us into the world of Garth Hale, a young man who has been diagnosed with an incurable — and eventually fatal — illness. As Garth  and his mother try to come to grips with his fate, they run across Frank Gallows, special agent of the Supernatural Immigration Task Force. Gallows’ job is to find ghosts in the world of the living and “deport” them back to the afterlife. When Frank accidentally sends Garth to the afterlife along with a ghost horse, he’s got to head into the land of the dead himself to bring the boy home. Along the way we run into a plethora of characters, including Garth’s grandfather, a ghost who has a history with Frank, and a ruler of the dead who has turned the afterlife into less than it used to be.

This book may just be TenNapel‘s masterpiece. Garth’s story is incredibly emotionally mature, dealing with themes of mortality and spirituality in a way that’s not going to frighten children, but at the same time, will give them something to ponder in an intelligent fashion. His vision of the afterlife, as well, is really fresh and original. It’s an amazing landscape populated with powerful, evocative characters, most of whom have a fully fleshed out backstory and character arc that run alongside Garth and Gallows flawlessly.

TenNapel‘s artwork, meanwhile, is fantastic. His human characters have an iconic, animated feel that makes them seem like they’d be perfect in a movie, while the monsters and other inhuman entities have wildly imaginative designs. Although most of TenNapel‘s previous graphic novels have been in black and white, and this artwork probably would have worked just fine in that format, a substantial team of colorists have given his pages even more life and power than his previous books.

This is a fantastic graphic novel, something totally original and totally worthy of a place on your bookshelf. Get it for your older kids, but read it yourself too.


Other People’s Heroes: Issue Sixteen (Evercast #35)

Josh Corwood has been captured, framed for the murder of the Gunk, while the real Gunk is now disguised as the long-lost hero Lionheart and ready to present himself to the public. Fortunately for Josh, he’s got at least one friend left who believes in his innocence. It’s time for a jailbreak.

And don’t forget to come back Saturday, friends, for an audio bonus featring my newest writing experiment, Tales of the Curtain!

Other People’s Heroes: Issue Sixteen (Evercast #35)

Theme song, “Last of the Superheroes,” by American Heartbreak, courtesy of Cover art by Jacob Bascle, and Evercast theme by Jeff Hendricks, Evercast logo by Heather Petit Keller.

E-mail me at

Blake M. Petit’s Evercast by Blake M. Petit is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
Based on a work at
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at


Classic EBI #187: Creepy Crawly Comics

With Halloween just days away, friends, it’s time for my annual roundup of Halloween comics in Everything But Imaginary. You can check out all the 2010 happenings right here:

Everything But Imaginary #372: This is Halloween

But in this week’s Classic EBI, let’s go back to 2006, when I took a look at Halloween offerings for that year, shall we? It’s October 25, 2006, and we’re looking at…

Everything But Imaginary #187: Creepy Crawly Comics

It’s time, friends, for another Everything But Imaginary Global Headquarters Halloween discussion. I love Halloween, and I’ve spent the entire month of October trying to put together as much Halloween content as possible, from special columns to movie and book reviews. Why, last weekend I even lost my mind to the degree that I spent an entire 48-hour block watching and reviewing all eleven Friday the 13th movies (that’s 48 hours minus time for sleeping, eating and – on rare occasions – emptying the ol’ “Crystal Lake”), six of which I had never seen before.

Halloween and Christmas are, to me, the two holidays richest in story potential. (Let’s face it, Here Comes Peter Cottontail was not among Rankin-Bass’s greatest achievements, and I don’t even want to get into It’s Arbor Day, Charlie Brown.) But there are billions of Christmas movies, TV specials, songs and comics. Halloween is a bit different. There are still lots of stories told about the holiday, but even a story with no direct connection to October 31, if sufficiently creepy, can be enough to get you into the proper mood. That’s why so many horror movies come out in October, why you see monster movies on television, and why you get comics with creepy connotations.

That in mind, let’s take a little time to look at some of the haunted happenings currently on the comic book stands. Back in the 90s, Vertigo was the undisputed monarch of horror comics, with projects like Sandman, Swamp Thing and Hellblazer. Well, John Constantine is still around and kicking, but Vertigo as a whole has turned more towards fantasy, science fiction and esoteric drama. Exterminators still brings us some horror content, as does the relaunched version of Deadman, but there’s little else there at the moment.

DC proper, unfortunately, doesn’t have too much in the way of horror these days either, but Wildstorm is taking up the torch. After spending a few years with Avatar Press, Wildstorm has taken over the license for three of New Line Cinema’s library of horror properties, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and each of these properties has been graced with a new ongoing series. Wildstorm somewhat squandered the potential in the project, though, by not launching all three titles in time for Halloween. So far, only A Nightmare on Elm Street #1 has hit the shelves. That said, I was quite impressed with the first issue. Chuck Dixon and Kevin Ward show a marked improvement from the Avatar series, which had good artwork but fairly generic stories and paper-thin characters. Dixon pushed the star, Freddy Krueger, into the background for much of the first issue, focusing on a new girl in Springwood, unaware of his legend, but nonetheless next in line to become a victim. Dixon really does a good job of making Freddy genuinely frightening – too often these days he’s played for macabre laughs, but this has the elements of a good psychological horror that makes the character work the best.

Over at Marvel, they’re pumping the new Hellstorm miniseries into their refurbished MAX line. I’ll be honest, though, I avoided the first issue (which came out today) because it’s set in New Orleans, and comic books set in Louisiana almost universally get me mad because of how painfully bad the stereotypes are. They’ve also recently brought back Blade and Ghost Rider, the former to tie in with a TV series that’s already been cancelled and the latter to tie into a movie that’s not coming out until next year. I’m not a huge fan of either property, but I do appreciate that they’re there if anyone wants them. Marvel Zombies, on the other hand, was a lot of fun. The miniseries about a universe where a zombie plague claimed virtually every hero and villain on Earth was a hit (in no small part, I suspect, due to the fantastic covers by Arthur Suydam, who parodied about a dozen different classic Marvel covers in zombie form). A sequel is already in the works, from what I hear, so you know I’ll be there.

Marvel’s deal with the Dabel Brothers has also brought them a pretty good little horror maxiseries in Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter – Guilty Pleasures. Based on the popular series of novels by Lauren K. Hamilton, this is set in a world where vampires and other supernatural creatures are accepted as everyday occurrences. Anita Blake, our heroine, is a licensed vampire executioner – she is sent to take out vampires who abuse their power. I’ve never read one of Hamilton’s novels, but I got the first issue of the comic book and I really enjoyed it – it’s a nice dash of horror mixed with some hardboiled drama. Bite Club fans may find something to enjoy here.

Over at Image, they’ve gone a long way towards diversifying their line. In the horror genre, their current darling would have to be Robert Kirkman’s The Walking Dead, about the survivors of a zombie plague that has (apparently) swept the Earth. There’s quite a bit of zombie action in the book, but it focuses more on the humans, the people who survived the plague. Most classic zombie movies are about the humans that battle the zombies, but they’ve got to reach some sort of resolution at the two-hour mark. Kirkman’s story has no such limitation – it’s an ongoing about life in a world of the dead, and it’s excellent. Heck, it was good enough for Marvel to tap him to write Marvel Zombies, right?

Dark Horse is coming back this week for a second round of Perhapanauts, a fun little monster comic about a group of… well… monsters trained as special agents to fight various supernatural threats. It’s half horror, half superhero, which is what you expect when your cast includes a Sasquatch, a ghost and a Chupacabra. The book, by Todd DeZago and Craig Rousseau, is a lot of fun, the sort of thing Hellboy fans will eat up. The first trade paperback is now available and the first issue of the second miniseries, Second Chances, hit the stands today.

So there are tons of good comics out there to help you get your scare on, and the only way it could be better is if Gemstone had timed the release of the first Tales From the Crypt Archives for October instead of December. I’m equally certain that you guys will happily inform me of any great horror comics I may have missed. I welcome your suggestions – it’s always great to hear about more good comics. In the meantime, Happy Halloween!

Favorite of the Week: October 18, 2006

Can you say “No Brainer?” Month in and month out, for over four years now, Fables has sat firmly atop my “must read” pile, and the first ever Fables original graphic novel, 1,001 Nights of Snowfall, is no different. Written by regular series writer and creator Bill Willingham, with artwork by a plethora of extremely talented artists, this book tells a tale of Snow White, trapped in the kingdom of the Arabian Fables, forced to tell story after story about herself and her peers to stay alive. In the process, we learn a lot about our heroes (and villains). Ever wanted to know Frau Totenkinder’s story? It’s here. What did Bigby Wolf do before the General Amnesty that would horrify people if they knew? It’s here. How did the seemingly ineffectual King Cole get elected mayor? What happened to Flycatcher’s family? Why doesn’t Snow White let anyone ask her about the dwarves? All of your answers lie within. Not only is the story top-notch, but the artwork is beautiful. Every artist in the book does an absolutely magnificent job. This is more than just my favorite book of the week, it’s one of the best books of the year.

Blake M. Petit is the author of the superhero comedy novel, Other People’s Heroes, the suspense novel The Beginner and the Christmas-themed eBook A Long November. He’s also the co-host, with whoever the hell is available that week, of the 2 in 1 Showcase Podcast and the weekly audio fiction podcast Blake M. Petit’s Evercast. E-mail him at and visit him on the web at Evertime Realms. Read past columns at the Everything But Imaginary Archive Page.


Time Travel Tuesdays: The Marvel Zombies Mini-Mates Present… Themselves!

It’s a new Time Travel Tuesdays, friends, and I’ve been eagerly awaiting the end of October to show this one off. We’re traveling back to Oct. 20, 2007, when I decided to do my first-ever toy review column over at the As I started to present the Mini-Mates figures based on the Marvel Zombies, though… well… things got a little out of hand. Even now, three years later, this is one of my favorite pieces I’ve ever written. I do, however, think my photography skills have gotten at least a tad better since then. I hope you all enjoy it!

The Marvel Zombie Mini-Mates Present… Themeslves!

Hey, friends. I’d promised you all a sort of photo-intensive examination of a new toy line to go along with my frequent and expansive Halloween celebration. The thing with these toys is… well… they sort of have brains of their own… and they want to eat yours, while we’re on the subject. So in the interest of keeping my own cerebellum intact, I agreed to step back behind the camera and let the guys speak for themselves. Oh – and you can click on every picture for a bigger one. Luke Cage made sure I told you that. So, without further ado, allow me to present…


ZOMBIE COLONEL AMERICA: Greetings, meatbags! I am Colonel America, one-time leader of the Avengers, and now leader of this dandy little band of flesh-eaters. Y’see, when our Earth started to get overrun by a zombie plague—

ZOMBIE SPIDER-MAN: Thank you very much, Quicksilver!

ZOMBIE COLONEL AMERICA: –Ahem. Yes. Well, when our world got overrun, at first we fought against infection, but when we got bit ourselves… well…

ZOMBIE POWER MAN: It was awesome.

ZOMBIE HULK: Zombie Hulk hungry! Zombie Hulk eat Fuzzy Man With Camera?

ZOMBIE COLONEL AMERICA: Not yet, Hulk. So anyway, we decided to take this opportunity to introduce ourselves to you. To show you just what we’re capable of. And most importantly, to make you realize…

ZOMBIE COLONEL AMERICA: There is no escape!

ZOMBIE GIANT-MAN: Hi! I’m Zombie Giant-Man.
ZOMBIE DAREDEVIL: And I’m Zombie Daredevil. The first MARVEL ZOMBIES MINI-MATES set included five figures… and we weren’t among them. We came in this exclusive two-pack you could only get at the San Diego Comic Con… or, like Blake, from a guy who owns a comic shop and attended the San Diego Comic Con.  

ZOMBIE DAREDEVIL: You will discover, however, that this does nothing to decrease our general level of Awesometude. If you look closely, you’ll see that the chunks that have been taken out of my flesh are represented by clear plastic. At least that’s what they tell me – even as a zombie, I’m blind. I also come with these two handy fighting staffs that I can hold thusly or stuck in the little pouch on my belt, where they will almost immediately fall out. Oh – and I got trained by a Ninja.

ZOMBIE GIANT-MAN: Hey, gang! I’m Zombie Giant-Man, and with me today is the zombified head of my ex-wife, the Wasp.

ZOMBIE WASP: Hello, snookums!
ZOMBIE GIANT-MAN: Jan here actually came in the box set with the other guys, but since we don’t have too much quality time together these days, we thought we’d do this together. You can tell we’re zombies, of course, by the cold, dead glare in our eyes and the huge, ravenous teeth painted onto our interchangeable plastic Mini-Mate heads. 
ZOMBIE WASP: Zombies or Rosie O’Donnell. RIMSHOT!


ZOMBIE WASP: You’d think being reduced to a starving, undead, disembodied head would strain a relationship, but aside from not being able to change my costume as much as I used to, things are pretty much the same. 

ZOMBIE POWER-MAN: Well, now that the bit players are out of the way, it’s time for the big boys to step up, and we’re starting with me! SWEET HALLOWEEN!

Get it? Because I used to say “Sweet Christmas” when I was alive and it was the 70s and… ah, never mind.

Anyway, I’m Luke Cage, sometimes called Power Man, and I’m still the baddest chunk of plastic in the toy chest. Daredevil thinks he’s tough ‘cause he has a couple of holes? Check me out! My whole left side is missin’, and I’ll still whip anyone tries to get between me… and lunch. Heh heh heh… 

ZOMBIE WOLVERINE: Hey, bub – Wolverine here, the most popular mutant in all comicdom. When I was alive, I had ultra-heightened senses, nifty retractable claws, unbreakable bones, an awesome healing factor and the ability to appear in 74 comic books a week! Now that I’m dead, the healing factor seems to have gone on the fritz, but the rest of the stuff works just dandy. I may not know how me turning into a zombie jives with what Marc Guggenheim is writing about me fightin’ death over in my own comic, but I have learned one other thing these claws of mine are great for… shish-ke-bob!  


ZOMBIE SPIDER-MAN: Um… thanks, Hulk.

ZOMBIE HULK: Stupid Brain-Head Man tells Hulk he can’t eat Fuzzy Man With Camera… Hulk need meat… Hulk misses Doritos…
ZOMBIE SPIDER-MAN: Hello, gang. I’m your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man! Well… I guess I’m not all that friendly anymore. I was one of the first guys to encounter the whole zombie plague. Unfortunately, after I got infected, I didn’t turn right away, but managed to get home first where I… um… well, I ate my wife and my Aunt May.

I know, I’m still kinda torn up about that.

But… but it’s still better than what Joe Quesada is doing to ‘em over in One More Day! Right?

GHOST RIDER: I am the Ghost Rider! Spirit of vengeance! Keeper of the eternal Hellfire and my blazing—

ZOMBIE COLONEL AMERICA: For the last time, you are not a zombie! Now get out of our pumpkin patch!

GHOST RIDER: Fine, fine… didn’t want to be in your stupid article anyway…

ZOMBIE COLONEL AMERICA: And you better not be Nicolas Cage under there, either!!!

ZOMBIE COLONEL AMERICA: And that leaves me, folks, Colonel America. Once the Sentinel of Liberty, now I’m the leader of this motley bunch of brain-eaters. Even having my own brain exposed hasn’t gotten me down, though – I’m undead and lovin’ every minute of it! Some people have asked me why I’m a colonel while most of my counterparts throughout the multiverse have achieved the rank of Captain. Well, what can I say? I’d hate for it to be seen as unprofessional when I… have lunch with the enlisted men! Bwaa-haha!!

The zombie virus also gives us all terrible senses of humor.

ZOMBIE COLONEL AMERICA: So that’s us, folks, the Marvel Zombie Mini-Mates! We hope you’ve enjoyed this little look into our lives, and if we show up for dinner some night, we hope you’ll have us!
…cause you know we’d be eager to have you! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! HAHAHA—




CAPTAIN AMERICA: Look out, you disgusting ghouls!

POWER MAN: The real Marvel Mini-Mates are here to show you who’s boss!

ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN: Hey, how come you have to take off your hand when you wear your shield?


CAPTAIN AMERICA: Avengers Assemble!

ZOMBIE COLONEL AMERICA: Zombie Avengers… um… Get ‘em!

POWER MAN: “Sweet Halloween?” “SWEET HALLOWEEN?” You know how long it took me to get them to stop writing “Sweet Christmas?”
ZOMBIE POWER MAN: Aw, c’mon, don’t treat a brother this way!

POWER MAN: “Brother?” Well look out, “Brother,” I’m gonna use your plastic guts to decorate my Haunted House!

DAREDEVIL: I may be “Battle-Damaged,” but I can still whip YOUR lousy—OW! OW! Can somebody get the Zombie Wasp off my ankle, please?
ZOMBIE WASP: Nom nom nom…



DAREDEVIL: Whammo! Double Boot To Da Head!


ZOMBIE WASP: Hey, sweetie.



ZOMBIE WOLVERINE: Ow! Hey! You cut me in half!

WOLVERINE: That’s right! Now you can make twice as many guest appearances a month! Heh… heh…

KILOWOG: Bring it on, ya Poozer! I’ll rip ya limb from—

ZOMBIE HULK: Hey, wait. You not not-dead version of Zombie Hulk. You Pink Green Lantern!
KILOWOG: Yyyyeah, about that… Blake doesn’t have a Hulk Mini-Mate toy. I volunteered to fill in.

ZOMBIE HULK: Zombie Hulk been reading Sinestro Corps War! Zombie Hulk think you da MAN!

KILOWOG: Really? Aw, shucks, that’s sweet of you to say…

ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN: I mean, you ate Mary Jane and Aunt May? How sick are you?
ZOMBIE SPIDER-MAN: I know, I know! :sob: Oh, kick me again! I deserve it! :sob:

ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN: And another thing – knock it off with all the variant covers! It was cute at first, but how many times are you gonna reprint the hardcover with different covers before you put out a paperback?

ZOMBIE SPIDER-MAN: Oh, God, it’s all my fault! I’m a terrible – hey, why don’t you have any webs on your costume?


ZOMBIE COLONEL AMERICA: Looks like it’s down to me and you, you pansy.
CAPTAIN AMERICA: Ready when you are, you psychopath.

ZOMBIE COLONEL AMERICA: Time to show you how we do things in my America.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: America? America isn’t your country, monster, it’s HELL!

ZOMBIE COLONEL AMERICA: Haven’t you given that speech before?

CAPTAIN AMERICA: That was an issue of What If? , it doesn’t count.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: You know why you’re going to lose, monster?

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Because we’re fighting for truth! Because we’re fighting for JUSTICE!


CAPTAIN AMERICA: Because real Americans don’t eat other Americans!*

*Editor’s Note-Captain America considers all known cannibals to be de facto Canadians, including Jeffrey Dahmer, Alferd Packer, and of course, Rosie O’Donnell.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Okay, let’s get these monsters back into their box.

KILOWOG: Bye, ya Poozer! Y’know, he wasn’t so bad…

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Close it, Logan!

CHARLIE BROWN: Mr… Um… Captain? Sir? Can we have our Pumpkin Patch back now?
SNOOPY: Ah, the Captain! So good to see him again. Why, I remember that time in occupied France when we met those saucy waitresses…

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Why, sure, kids! The zombies are all defeated, and back in the box. It’s perfectly safe here now. Why…

CAPTAIN AMERICA: What else could possibly happen?


Halloween Party: Saw VI

Somehow or other, I’ve always been a year behind on the Saw films. I saw the first one a year after its release on DVD, and I’ve gotten into the habit of catching up the following year, just before the new one is coming out. This year is no different. People can debate the merits of the series for years, and there can be no doubt that it helped inspire an entire generation of filmmakers who think ultra-detailed gore and blood is a substitute for having an actual plot. But what about the series that somewhat popularized “torture porn?” I like the first Saw movie quite a big. Gory, yes, but not nearly as bad as the series would get later, and quite effective as a psychological thriller as opposed to a simple slasher film. The second film was a decent, if not brilliant follow-up, and the third one was surprisingly good at tying everything together. Then came Saw IV, the only one I’ve seen in a theater, which was so bad that it made the previous three films lost any sense of cohesion or logic. Five cleaned things up a little, but there was still work to do.

So now, Saw VI. This one continues the story of Jigsaw (Tobin Bell, who died in the third film, but continues appear here in flashback), or more accurately, his would-be protege, Detective Mark Hoffman (played by Costas Mandylor). Hoffman is still following Jigsaw’s orders, kidnapping people who have displayed a lack of appreciation for human life and placing them in traps where they have to make torturous life or death decisions. This time, the victim is an insurance executive (Peter Outerbridge)  who made the decision not to authorize an expensive, experimental treatment that may have saved Jigsaw’s life. This movie fortunately manages to avoid some of the sins of earlier films, with overlapping narratives that didn’t quite mesh up, and stays on a more-or-less linear course. The deathtraps are still highly elaborate, although I think we’ve pretty much reached a point where trying to become more elaborate than the previous films may be fruitless. Instead, the film endeavors to be at least different than the others, and in that it succeeds. The twist at the end of this film (unlike in four) is one that actually works well, playing off our preconceived notions of Outerbridge’s character to give us a surprising reveal that leads to a satisfying ending.

I was a bit disappointed that this was not going to be the final film in the series, as I’m almost certain was announced at one point, but at least it sounds like the diminishing returns the series has experienced are going to bring it to an end in this year’s Saw 3D. If you’ve made it this far in the series, it’s hard to imagine not checking out the conclusion. Although true to form, I’ll probably check it out via NetFlix… next Halloween.


Join me in the world of THE CURTAIN

Hey, guys. As I promised on this week’s podcasts, today is the beginning of a brand new writing experiment for me, a journey I call The Curtain. The Curtain is not like anything I’ve ever attempted before. It’s not a novel, nor a short story, a comic book script, or anything else of the sort. What it is, instead, is a series of ongoing and (sometimes) interconnected prose stories that all happen to take place in the same “universe.” The story of this world begins one October 15, when something happens that causes simultaneous events the world over of supernatural creatures and monsters of all sorts suddenly appearing and making themselves known.  The story really picks up in earnest, however, about five years later, in a world where many people have come to believe in and accept these creatures as real, but many others still deny their existence.

The Curtain will be told in short installments, a scene a day, that will rotate between a large number of characters. We’ll also rotate between many different kinds of monsters, including (but by no means limited to)vampires, zombies, werewolves, lava men, creatures from mythology and folklore, and the sort of giant beasts that tend to climb out of the ocean and beat the crap out of Japan from time to time. Some stories will be short (maybe just a scene or two). Others will be very long-term (such as the quest of many of our heroes to discover just why the Dark Things of the world climbed out of the woodwork all at the same time). Every story will begin with an ending in mind, but not every character will end that way. Basically, I’m trying to give myself the freedom to go from one character or group of characters whenever the whim strikes me.

The hope is that this will allow me to constantly have this world evolve by introducing new characters, new creatures, and new combinations of them all. Some of these characters will meet and interact. Some never will. Some will never have the chance. Some stories will be funny, some will be adventures, some (hopefully) will be even a little frightening. But ultimately, I hope this will something that both I and whatever readers I can accumulate will grow to enjoy.

This experiment begins today, Oct. 24, when I post the first scene from the world of the Curtain. In the week before Halloween, I will post a scene a day, laying the groundwork for this world. After Halloween, you can expect two updates a week, on Tuesday and Friday. (At least at first — I reserve the right to increase the frequency if I think I can handle it.) Each character and monster thread will appear in the “category” section over on the bottom of the main page. Furthermore, I’ll maintain lists of the Curtain scenes both in chronological order and sorted by character. And yes, some of those characters will cross over.

Readers are invited to follow the tales of the Curtain however they want. You can read each new post on Tuesdays and Fridays. You can go to the “Character Threads” page and read only those scenes pertaining to certain characters. You can go back to the beginning and follow the story as it unfolds. It’s up to you.
The story begins today with the first scene, Treasures of Egypt. In the next seven days, you’ll meet many of the monsters of the world of the Curtain, as well as a few of the heroes, although we’ll encounter many more of them in the coming weeks. You can follow the new scenes by visiting me at Tales of the

Thanks for your time, guys. I hope you have fun with this new little game of mine.


2 in 1 Showcase Versus the Wolfman

For the fifth year in a row, I’m sitting down for a Halloween-inspired movie marathon, and for the fourth year, I’ve drafted several of my friends to help me. You can check out previous marathons thusly:

Friday the 13th
A Nightmare on Elm Street
The Universal Pictures Frankenstein

This year, we’re sitting through the Universal Pictures Wolf-Man franchise, and with me are Kenny, Daniel, Lauren, Mike, and Nicole. Last year, as Kenny and I did a lot of the Frankenstein films without the rest of the crew and, frankly, there wasn’t as much room for snark, I didn’t write down our comments as we went along. This year, when Daniel shouted out “He’s got a girl’s name!” when Bela Lugosi turned up in the opening credits, I knew there’d be room to snarkify. For a slightly more serious conversation about the merits of the individual films, you can listen to the podcast in which we discuss them.

2 in 1 Showcase Episode 193: The Universal Wolfman

The Wolfman (1941) The classic begins with Daniel wondering why Lon Chaney’s character is merely credits as “The Wolf-Man,” as if he doesn’t have an actual name. (He does: Lawrence Talbot.) Talbot is being summoned home after many years, hoping to reconcile with his estranged father after his brother dies. We miss the next several minutes of the film, though, as we 1) notice that Mike is still wearing the headset we used to record the podcast introduction, 2) Mike announces that he’s doing it because he’s as “cool as the other side of the pillow,” 3) Kenny says that “Buddy Dee Williams” is as cool as the other side of the pillow, and 4) We proceed to mock Kenny mercilessly. Lauren, meanwhile, is getting ready to kick Mike, Kenny, and Daniel out of the Man-Cave for talking during the damn movie. I concur.

Mike and Daniel immediately latch on to the fact that Talbot has a big-ass telescope in his mansion, something that rather disappoints Mike as I point out that the film was made in 1941 and the chances of him seeing any women undressing through it are fairly slim. Talbot does, however, see a woman (the lovely Evelyn Ankers) working in an antique shop, whom he approaches and begins commenting on the objects he’s seen in her room. My only response: “He’s the worst stalker ever.”

Somehow, he convinces the woman to accompany him on a wolf-tracking expedition to a nearby gypsy encampment. Kenny comments, “The girls tells him no and she still goes with him. And then brings a friend.” Mike chimes in, “What the HELL?” Lauren merely expresses her sorrow that Daniel cannot grow a saucy handlebar mustache like Bela Lugosi is sporting as a gypsy fortune teller in this picture. Chaney continues to bumble over Ankers, which makes me realize that back in 1941, I actually may have had some game with the women. At least relatively. Kenny, however, would still have none.

What with one thing or another, Chaney gets bitten by a wolf, which he then proceeds to beat the crap out of with a wolf-headed cane he bought from Ankers earlier. Although the actual beating takes place out of frame, Kenny correctly comments that you couldn’t get away with that in today’s movies. And yet they allow Snooki on television where any kid could see it.

As Chaney is told by gypsies that he’s now going to bear the curse of the werewolf (because of the whole “being bitten and beating the previous werewolf to death with a silver-tipped walking stick” thing), Mike begins to question why they keep calling it a stick instead of a cane. A quick Google search reveals that the difference between a cane and a walking stick is that a cane has a curved top. This post now qualifies for an educational grant. Our amazement at the film continues when we realize that Ankers’ character actually does seem to be falling in love with Chaney, a man who introduced himself by basically revealing that he’d been spying on her through her window. In many ways, this film is a precursor to Twilight.

Chaney seeks help from the medical community, uttering the immortal phrase, “Have you ever met a werewolf, Doctor?” Daniel, despite warnings from Lauren that he’ll be sleeping in the yard until Thanksgiving, cannot contain himself: “I’ve never met a Werewolf Doctor!”

At this point, Kenny’s sister Megan pops in and informs us that it is, in fact, the night of a full moon. Somehow, this sends both Kenny and Daniel scrambling to separate electronic devices in an attempt to download Warren Zevon’s Werewolves of London. We will now hear this constantly for the rest of the day. Chaney, of course, is unable to contain himself, and eventually winds up in battle with his own father, who proceeds to beat him to death with his own sliver-tipped cane. Mike begins to question the link between silver and kryptonite, which is something only a geek of our level would begin to go to. In the touching moment as the father mourns his son’s death, Daniel pulls out his cell phone and starts playing Hungry Like the Wolf. Lauren contemplates divorce.

Frankenstein Meets the Wolfman (1943) In this film, which serves as both the second Wolf-Man movie and the fifth Frankenstein movie, we start off with a couple of grave robbers busting into the Tomb of the Talbots. I take a bit of offense when we see the marking on Larry’s grave, which says he died at the “youthful age of thirty-one.” I have to look it up, now – Chaney was apparently only 35 when the film was made. Apparently, people aged a lot harder in the 1930s.

The coffin, which they pop into for some insane reason, turns out to be full of wolfbane, which according to the poem we heard in the first movie (and again in this one) is inexorably linked to the curse of the werewolf. Even one who is “pure of heart” can be subjected to it. The two robbers pilfer a ring from Talbot’s body, which somehow brings him back to life. As he grabs one of the robbers, the other hauls ass out of the tomb. Mike begins to ponder why people running in horror movies always fall down.

The next conversation must be quoted verbatim:

MIKE: Why is the sound so low?

LAUREN: Well if you’d stop talking, you could hear it!

BLAKE: You just got Laurened.

MIKE: Well she can Lauren me all she wants—



If anything happens in the next two minutes, we miss it.

When we finally get back to the film, Talbot is in the hospital and the staff is confused because his ass has been dead for four years. I can perfectly understand why this is confusing. When he makes his inevitable transformation into the werewolf, despite the fact that he was wearing a hospital robe, he again shows up wearing the black button-down he had on throughout the first picture. When we see him again, passed out, he’s back in the hospital robe. Evidently, Larry Talbot’s transformation is far more efficient than Bruce Banner’s.

Mike, Daniel and Kenny retreat to the kitchen at this point to begin making popcorn. As they go about this vital task, someone begins to take stock of Kenny’s alcohol situation. This could get ugly. Slightly uglier, on-screen, Talbot begins to suspect that the fact he has come back means he can’t die, and he’ll get violent as a result. This is interesting to me – up until this point, Talbot has come across as a victim in this series. Now, for the first time, he’s starting to behave like a monster in human form as well.

Talbot hooks up with the old gypsy woman who told him about the curse in the first movie and they decide to seek out Dr. Frankenstein for help killing him permanently. Evidently, he just wants to die. A guy who looks like Teddy Roosevelt informs them that Frankenstein was a madman whose home burned down with him in it. Later, a local girl gets killed by an animal bite, so the villagers (showing the sort of calm logic as we saw in last year’s Frankenstein marathon) hunt down the new guy in town… who does, admittedly, happen to be a werewolf. He flees and winds up stumbling into a frozen cave where – holy crap – Frankenstein’s monster has been preserved in the ice. Talbot pulls the monster (in this film, played by Bela Lugosi) out and they begin to make their way to the ruins of Frankenstein’s lab, past the fakest-looking bats I’ve ever seen on anything. Including the rubber ones hanging in our school library this month.

Unable to find the death he seeks in the ruins of Frankenstein’s lab, Talbot finds a disturbingly saucy picture of Frankenstein’s daughter signed to her father, and tracks her down in the hopes of buying Frankenstein’s land to continue his search. The film is suddenly disrupted by – not even kidding here, folks – an impromptu musical number, where a dude in lederhosen starts singing about how awesome the guy who looks like Teddy Roosevelt is. When he hits a line about “living eternally,” Talbot does what everyone watching the movie wants to do, leaps up, and threatens to beat the guy unless he shuts up. Somehow, this winds up freaking out everyone in town, despite the fact that you know the actors wanted to do the same thing. Teddy, using his ninja skills, overhears Talbot telling someone about his plans, just before the monster shows up wandering around town. A lynch mob forms, of course, once again giving turn of the century obscure European countries a really bad name.

Talbot and his new friend think of a way to reconstruct Frankenstein’s machines in a way that will supposedly drain the life from both Talbot and the Monster, although it will evidently require the precise flow of a river at just the right time to spin the turbines to activate the device which appeared in Starship Troopers with Denise Richards who was in Wild Things with Kevin Bacon. Meanwhile, the townspeople conspire to destroy them, which seems kind of stupid if you think about it. Why are they trying to attack the people who are trying to find a way to kill the monster? As they begin their experiment, the full moon comes out, the monster cuts loose, and Teddy Roosevelt begins to lay dynamite to blow up the dam that’s controlling the flow of the river that’s charging the turbines that power the house that Jack built. The monster goes after the girl (as he always does), but the wolfman breaks free and they start ‘rasslin’. Teddy blows up the castle, and this time they both get frozen, only to be reawakened a year later in House of Frankenstein, which we covered in last year’s marathon. So go check that out as we pause for a restroom break, then move into…

Werewolf of London (1931) This was actually Universal’s first werewolf movie, and in fact the first American werewolf movie. It wasn’t actually part of the Lon Chaney, Jr. series, but as it’s included in the Legacy Collection DVD set, we decided to include it too. This film features Henry Hull as Wilfred Glendon, who has the world’s most exciting occupation: botanist. He and a friend find an old dude in Tibet who warns them not to mess with the plant he’s looking for. Like white men in Hollywood have done from the beginning, he doesn’t listen, goes out looking for his planet, and gets bitten by a monster. As he goes back to his lab to study the plant, my gang is astonished to see that he’s actually got a video security system in 1935. My reply: “Hey, he’s a scientist.”

This film is pretty slow-moving… for quite some time, the only thing that’s really worth mentioning are the big hats on the women and the styles of the mustaches, both of which perplex Mike, whose concept of “fashion” means “squirting my Bettie Page t-shirt with Febreeze before I leave the house.” Eventually, Glendon starts to get hairy, so he pokes himself with a flower, which makes the hair go away. We promise to shield Mike from these flowers forever.

As Glendon starts to investigate his transformation, he learns that a werewolf will always try to kill that which he loves the most, which reminds me of that Futurama episode, “The Honking,” where Fry gets upset because Bender (turned into a were-car) goes after Leela instead of him. The fact that I took the time to look up the title of that episode should show you how engrossed I am in this picture. Soon afterwards, Mike and Daniel begin to argue about the transformation scene, which takes place when Glendon walks behind a pole. I’m not impressed with the makeup job, personally – he gets a little hairier and puts lumps on his forehead. The ultimate, though, is that he chooses to put on a coat and hat before he leaves the lab.

At this point, Mike notices that Daniel has fallen asleep on the couch. I suggest putting his hand in a bowl of warm water. Kenny, whose couch Daniel is sitting on, suggest rubber sheets. The discussion summons Daniel back to consciousness. We look at the DVD box to check the running time and are startled to discover that only 12 minutes remain. This is surprising because nothing has happened in what feels like seventeen hours. We are further astonished that the running time is only 1:15 minutes.

There are a couple of genuinely funny moments in this movie, which surprises me. A pair of old women with a propensity for knocking each other out sort of steal the show. And there’s a decent fight scene at the end, but it’s too little too late. It’s no wonder nobody remembers this film.

She-Wolf of London (1946) This film opens up in London, where we discover that people live in fear of the “Allenby Curse.” I’m not entirely sure what this means, but I bet it has something to do with wolves. Daniel, who still hasn’t recovered from the previous movie, activates a strobe light app on his phone in the hopes of inducing a seizure upon himself.  We all wind up spending several minutes playing with our iPhones/iPods and not actually paying attention to the movie. I look up from my iPod and realize the film has been on for 17 minutes.

There’s a killer on the loose, it seems, and people suspect that the Allenby Curse has cut loose. June Lockhart, in fact, wakes up with blood on her fingers, which prompts Kenny to say he thinks it looks like she’s been fingerprinted (this is in black-and-white), which in turn prompts the new uncle in the group (me) to tell everyone that when his niece was born they didn’t use ink to take her footprints, but instead had some sort of heat sensitive paper. This is how interesting this movie is.

We start taking bets on who the wolf really is. June Lockhart? Her cousin? The creepy old woman who opens the door for the detective? We finally get to the attack, where a woman wandering the park wrapped up in a shawl rips out someone’s throat. Mike is appalled by the fact that the woman clearly was not wearing wolf makeup, while I simply notice that she sounds more like a cat than a wolf.

Lockhart’s boyfriend later cheers her up by reciting the various symptoms and results of lycanthropy, which causes her to burst out in tears, which seems disturbingly similar to several dates I had in college. That night, as the cops stake out the park, Lockhart sneaks out as Daniel breaks into a chorus of Talking Heads’ Psycho Killer. This is not nearly as disruptive as his Werewolves of London chorus earlier in the evening. Despite the fact that we’re barely paying attention, Lauren figures out that the old woman is drugging June Lockhart to make her believe she’s the werewolf, while in actuality it’s her cousin that’s committing the murders. She’s right. She then predicts that the old woman will fall down the stairs while chasing the housekeeper. Again, she’s right. Lauren wins this movie.

Like the last movie, the total lack of action has cost us all of our attention. Not even the question of whether June Lockhart is a werewolf manages to hold us here, and at this point, the upcoming 2010 remake of the original is looking damn good.

The Wolfman (2010) The Blu-Ray disc of this film contains both the theatrical and unrated versions. We choose the unrated, as all of us (except Daniel and Lauren) have seen the theatrical version. While Kenny is immediately impressed by how they evoke the classic Universal Studios opening, Lauren says she thinks it’s cooler in black and white. I immediately know this is going to be a fun viewing experience. Like the original, this one opens up with Lawrence Talbot (Benicio Del Toro) learning of the death of his brother. With the film being made 60 years later, though, we actually get a glimpse of the attack. The Wolfman flashes on the screen just for a second, which I suppose is all well and good. It’d be like trying to hide the monsters in the Alien remake. Everybody saw them already, so why bother?

While on the train home, Talbot meets an old man with a silver wolf-headed walking stick. He offers to give it to Talbot, and when he refuses, he “accidentally” leaves it on the train. Daniel, helpfully, says, “You left your cane!” Mike and Kenny immediately reply, “It’s a walking stick!”

Talbot comes home to find his father, Sir Anthony Hopkins, living in a house that looks like nobody’s been in it since they fell asleep watching She-Wolf of London during its original theatrical release. He collects his brother’s belongings, then goes off to a local pub to have a drink with – once again – Teddy Roosevelt. There he hears some older gents talking about the band of gypsies that have come to town. The bands of tramps and thieves, evidently, never made it that far. Talbot hears them mocking his family and talking about their craaaaaaaazy notion that a werewolf could be behind the recent killing. Go fig.

Later, as Hopkins go around blowing out candles in the mansion, I distinctly hear Mike attempting to help by blowing along. I’m not really sure what to make of this. If anybody out there knows what it means, please e-mail me at

Mike tries to figure out where he’s seen Emily Blunt (who plays Ben Talbot’s fiancé, Gwen) before. I go online and read off some of her filmography. He hasn’t seen any of them before, so he again asks, “Why does she seem familiar to me?” Lauren replies, “Because you’ve seen this movie twice.” Kenny chimes in, “You just got Laurened again.”

Benicio Del Toro, whom we all agree bears more than a passing resemblance to Lon Chaney Jr. (so good on the casting director) heads off to the gypsy village for information about his brother, although Kenny reasonably asks why the hell he would do such at thing at night. Shockingly, there’s an attack on the gypsies by a massive beast who sheds more blood in 12 seconds than in the entirety of the previous four films. Lauren declares she likes the old movies better.

Mike finds himself starting to fall asleep, so he drinks the last quarter-bottle of a five hour energy shot he’s been nursing since he arrives. He then proceeds to put the bottle on the table I’ve got my laptop on. I remove it and place it back on the shelf where he’d kept it all day. He picks it up and, again, puts it on my table. So I take it and bounce it off his head.

While we’re doing this, Talbot is mauled by the werewolf, and although the gypsies sew him up, they’re a bit concerned about the fact that, y’know, he’s cursed to attack and eviscerate human beings now. Talbot is laid up for month trying to recover from the attack, which coincidentally puts him back on his feet just at about the time the moon is turning full again. Hugo Weaving shows up and we’re reminded that, wow, this film actually has some good actors in it. Sadly, as he speaks to Talbot we keep waiting for him to say, “Miiiiiiiist-er Anderson…”

Talbot takes his dead brother’s fiancé out to skip rocks, which sparks a discussion of our respective rock-skipping skills and an impromptu rendition of Whip It before the music turns creepy, signaling the fact that the townspeople (who are just as tolerant as in the original series) show up planning to lock up Talbot before that night’s full moon. Talbot refuses, which somehow freaks out the horse, but before they can drag him away Hopkins shows up and shoots the head off a statue to prove ain’t nobody takin’ his boy. That night, though, Talbot starts to feel fuzzy and angry, proving that perhaps the townspeople weren’t so crazy after all. He warns Gwen to get the hell out of the house, and unlike Lon Chaney, does so without spying on the girl through a telescope.

Talbot’s dad leads him to a secure location where he undergoes a transformation far, far more graphic than any of the ones we’ve seen in the previous films. It also features infinity percent more CGI.

After some nice bloody moments, it’s morning and Talbot gets carted off to the insane asylum by the good townspeople, who’ve got no problem believing he’s a murderous monster, probably because these attacks have happened before. As it happens, we discover that the previous attacks were pulled off by Talbot’s father, who visits his son in the asylum and informs us that, even though he loves his son, he’s got no problem letting him take the fall for decades of murders. The Talbots are scheduled to appear together on Maury next week.

As a THX sound promo plays in the background, Talbot is dragged into an auditorium in the asylum, where his psychiatrist proceeds to explain that he’s delusional about that whole “full moon” thing, even as Talbot is transforming behind him, causing the other doctors in the room to crap their pants. Rather than run out of the room, of course, they point and try to call the doc’s attention to the situation just long enough for Talbot to get loose and start ripping intestines out of stomachs. This leads to a pretty good sequence of his terrorizing London, which of course has been a dream of Kenny’s since he was a wee tot. Gwen, as we learn, loves him anyway. When I point out that she is, in fact, his dead brother’s fiancé, Daniel says, “That was the custom at the time.” I reply, “That was the custom in ancient Rome…” Daniel’s retort: “I’m moving to ancient Rome. And killing my brother.” Lauren… glares at him.

Somehow, the course of conversation sparks Daniel’s rendition of Livin’ on a Prayer, which causes Mike to say he needs to be in a musical to get it out of his system. Talbot, meanwhile, has returned home and loaded up a rifle with silver bullets to look for daddy. Or, so it seems – when he actually tries shooting him, he finds out that Talbot Sr. took the powder out of the bullets a long time ago. The moon comes out and, for the first time in five movies, we finally get some werewolf-on-werewolf action. Sadly, most of it is CGI. Talbot Jr. wins the fight by throwing his father into the fireplace, where he immediately catches on fire, which Mike says is the part of the movie he has trouble with. I reply, “Well he’s old, he’s probably dried out.”

Werewolf Lawrence tangles with Hugo Weaving, and finally faces off with Gwen at a really romantic waterfall, which would be awesome if he wasn’t a wolfman that wanted to eat her spleen. She tries to appeal to the human inside of him, which seems to work just long enough for her to shoot him in the chest. So, like Sheldon observed on The Big Bang Theory, “Bitches be crazy.” As he’s dying, he grabs on to her hand and morphs back, and she acts really, really sad considering the fact that she just shot him in the chest. The film ends with Weaving clutching the wolf-head walking stick, clutching a bite wound, and having a look on his face that clearly expresses the fact that he’s thinking, “Aw crap, I’m gonna be in the sequel.”

We packed up and headed home after this one, content in the knowledge that we’d once again bested one of the all-time great monsters, although his DVD set got stuck with some really crappy films. We’re thinking next year we may go more contemporary… perhaps… it’s time to do battle with Chucky?


Halloween Party: Sweeney Todd-The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Here’s one from the “why hasn’t Blake already watched this?” category. I’m a big musical theater nerd. I’m a big fan of Stephen Sondheim. And I don’t have anything in particular against Johnny Depp. But somehow, I didn’t see the movie when it was released, and the DVD release escaped me until a few weeks ago, when the musical was featured on one of my favorite TV shows, The Office. Hearing some of the music performed there sort of reminded me that there was a movie version of this musical, so off to NetFlix I went.

The film, based of course on Sondheim’s play, features Johnny Depp as Benjamin Barker, a barber framed for a crime by a corrupt judge (portrayed brilliantly by Alan Rickman) who covets his wife. Barker returns home under an alias (“Sweeney Todd,” duh) 15 years later to find his wife gone and his daughter about to be forced into marriage by the same judge. Incensed at the corruption around him, Todd hatches a scheme with his downstairs neighbor Mrs. Lovett (Helena Bonham-Carter) to dispatch the well-to-do of London.

The musical itself truly is remarkable. with some of Sondheim’s most complex, memorable themes and lyrics. I haven’t been able to stop myself from singing “Johanna” at random moments since I saw the film. The story, too, is wonderfully constructed. Todd begins the tale as a victim, as an innocent person who seeks a rather justifiable revenge and goes really, really overboard. Also, he murders Sasha Baron Cohen, which is something most of us have contemplated at one time or another.

The performances in the film are good too — Rickman is always a masterful performer, and Timothy Spall practically recreates his persona from the Harry Potter film, playing the judge’s flunky. Depp and Carter, of course, are cast in this movie because it seems director Tim Burton is now physically incapable of making a film without either of them. Sometimes this really works, sometimes it doesn’t. This one treads the line, but in the end, it’s a successful combination. Depp isn’t a powerhouse, bravura singer, but his persona is perfect for Sweeney Todd, and his pitch and tone sell the part in an understated way. Carter isn’t bad either, although she can’t really belt out her part the way you sense it was intended to be played.

The visuals are really great. Tim Burton’s stamp on a movie is always unmistakable — you can look at a movie and tell he directed it in about 30 seconds. This time, that thumbprint of his is perfect. The colors are very subdued, almost sepia toned, with a few exceptions. Cohen’s character’s garish costume stands out, as it should, and with every death the splash of red leaps out against the rest of the darker characters and backgrounds.

I enjoyed this a lot. I’ve got to see the stage show now, if for no other reason than to see what songs got left out.

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