16
Jul
11

The Seven Harry Potters

This week, Kenny and I decided to do a marathon of all seven Harry Potter films in preparation for the eighth and final installment, as we’ve done other 2 in 1 Showcase movie marathon podcasts in the past. We would watch each movie, record a segment talking about it, watch the next movie, and repeat. Today we’re going to catch Deathly Hallows Part 2, record a review of that, and the whole podcast will be available tomorrow.

This time, however, I got the urge to fire up the laptop as we were watching, and do something I’d never done before: Livetweet the movies. While I would never do this with a new movie and absolutely never do it in a movie theater (I hate people who turn on their phones in the theater), doing it from the comfort of Kenny’s man-cave was fun, and I think we may make it a habit whenever we’ve got a marathon in the works.

But for those of you who aren’t on twitter or didn’t check it the last few days, I saved the tweets as we went along and I present them now to you. Read on and see if you can figure out where we are in each movie by the comments we made…

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

  • Forget Voldemort. How is it child protective services never took Harry away from the Dursleys?
  • Having read all the books, I find myself watching Petunia Dursley in a new light. There’s a character with some genuine angst in her.
  • I first watched this movie 10 years ago. I don’t remember it making me want to go to Orlando back then. #INeedAButterbeer
  • I totally want an Olivander’s wand. With my luck, the core will be something like Ostrich feather or hair from the tail of a jackass.
  • Y’know, Harry, I know you’re new at this, but it’s not a good idea to flash all your gold on a train full of strangers. #JustSayin’
  • Hermione meets the boys. For some reason I want the scene to include the phrase “I’m Ron Weasley. I’m your density… I mean your destiny.”
  • Kenny mentions how much Neville has grown up. I confess I get a little jealous when Erin mentions him now. #HarryPotterCrushes
  • “Another Weasley! I know what to do with YOU.” Damn, sorting hat is copping a ‘tude.
  • Harry, meet Percy. He’s gonna disappear without a trace in a couple of movies.
  • Think about how many pictures your grandma has in her house. Now imagine if they were ALL WATCHING YOU AND CAPABLE OF SPEECH. #NightmareFuel
  • For all we learn about Snape later on, he’s still a pretty big douche to Harry on his first day of school.
  • A flying broom would be cool, but you know the kid riding the flying Swiffer is gonna get all the chicks.
  • Quidditch on-screen is awesome. But having seen YouTube videos of people trying to play for real just makes me sad.
  • I forgot how some of these early magic lessons went into flat-out Looney Tunes-style “exploding in yo’ face” comedy. #Sweet.
  • Gotta admit, some of this 10-year-old CGI doesn’t quite hold up. #HarryRidesTheTroll
  • Am I the only one who thinks “Swish and Flick” sounds like it should be dirty? Just me? Okay, never mind.
  • I had some awesome teachers in school. But I wish the rest of them had been Minerva McGonagall.
  • This is why I couldn’t have been a jock in high school. My friends wouldn’t have been willing to hex teachers to save my ass.
  • Did anyone else ever think “Wizard’s Chess” was just “Battlechess” in 3-D?
  • How many headmasters would give a student a Christmas present that allows them to roam the halls at night virtually undetected?
  • I’d be afraid to look in the Mirror of Erised. I’m worried it would just show a newspaper proclaiming Bacon Cheeseburgers a miracle food.
  • I love how Hagrid takes everything in stride. “WE KNOW ABOUT THE SORCERER’S STONE.” “Oh.”
  • Having seen my 9-month-old niece chase the cat, I wonder what she’d do with a baby Norwegian Ridgeback like Norbert.
  • Look at Malfoy. Smug little bastard. Can’t wait to see you whimper like a bitch in Deathly Hallows. #GrudgesAgainstFictionalCharacters
  • “There is something fundamentally wrong with his crossbow. It would never work. It’s too flimsy.” #WatchingMoviesWithKenny
  • I think Malfoy’s failure to find redemption in all 7 books is one of the most realistic aspects of the series. Some people just suck.
  • “You don’t think he’ll try to kill you, do you?” “Who, Voldemort? Naw, he seems like a level-headed, reasonable fellow.”
  • Kenny theorizes Ron officially fell in love with Herminone when she petrified Neville. It’s hard to argue with that.
  • Being friends with Hermione is like having a walking, talking Junior Woodchuck’s Guidebook in your crew.
  • Y’know, Ron didn’t really fall from that high up. Why is he unconscious? #WizardChessBeBuggin’
  • Quirrell just took off his turban. WORST HAIR DAY EVER.
  • In retrospect, the back of Quirrell’s head really doesn’t look like Ralph Fiennes.
  • “What happened is a complete secret. So naturally, the whole school knows.” #HarryPotterIsReal,Yo
  • Ron being a chessmaster never really comes up again, does it?
  • Aaaand 10 points to Neville Longbottom. Gotta love how Dumbledore games the system.
  • And that’s it for Sorcerer’s Stone! Time for a bathroom break, a quick recording session, and on to Chamber of Secrets!

 Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

  •  Dudley’s second bedroom… spoiled little sonofabitch.
  • Aw, Dobby. Why you gotta destroy such a good-lookin’ cake?
  • Ron and Harry already have deeper voices in the second movie. Neville’s balls drop somewhere in five.
  • ME: I wish I could wash dishes by magic. KENNY: It’s called a washing machine. ME: Yeah, but I still gotta put ’em in like a sucker.
  • I imagine Arthur Weasley and Lawrence Fletcher would have a lot in common.
  • Hermione just repaired Harry’s glasses in Diagon Alley. Kenny points out she should technically get in trouble for that. #strewth
  • Gilderoy Lockhart reminds me of every smarmy QVC host my mother ever admired.
  • KENNY: Have you ever wanted to see Jason Isaacs dressed as a woman? ME: I can honestly say I have never wanted to see that.
  • This movie really makes me wish my car could fly. But just my car. Not yours. #CrowdedSkies
  • You ever wonder if the Whomping Willow is related at all to Charlie Brown’s kite-eating tree?
  • Kenny keeps giggling at “Grasp your mandrake!” #InFairnessItsHardNotTo
  • Rupert Grint really belongs to the Stan Laurel school of face acting. This is meant as a compliment.
  • And Ron, trying to be gallant, slugifies himself. Malfoy is still a weasel.
  • The whole Mudblood allegory is a little too on-the-nose sometimes. We get it. Racism is bad. The histrionics are a bit much.
  • Filch’s love for Mrs. Norris really borders on the “creepy as all hell” at times, doesn’t it?
  • Poor Ron. I’m sure there are some circumstances where a hairy water goblet would come in handy. #Notreally
  • Ron is gonna try to stop the rogue bludger in the Quidditch match. Don’t they have referees for this sort of thing?
  • Seriously, WHERE ARE THE REFEREES? Harry needs protection from things like evil spells… and Lockhart.
  • Yeah, NFL players. You’ve got a dangerous job. But have you ever LOST ALL THE BONES IN YOUR ARM? #QuidditchAintForSissies
  • The chick playing Moaning Myrtle was 37 when she filmed “Chamber of Secrets.” I’ll let you be creeped out by that for a few minutes.
  • I’m just saying, if a 37-year-old DUDE spent all his time hanging around a high school bathroom, someone would be calling Chris Hanson.
  • If I could talk to snakes, I think I’d ask them to get those coins from under the vending machine at work for me. #practicalusesformagic
  • I just want a house with anything — ANYTHING — as cool as the entrance to Dumbledore’s office.
  • I’d like some polyjuice potion, but where would I get hair from Dan Didio?
  • Gotta admit Tom Felton’s acting improves over the course of the series. Draco is such a scene-chewer in Chamber of Secrets.
  • You KNOW there are furries out there who just keep watching Hermione as a cat over and over and over again.
  • Hermione can’t move. Ron, don’t get any ideas.
  • People get frozen, so they cart Hagrid off to prison. No due process in the wizard world, eh?
  • Dumbledore spends a lot of these movies basically just walking around and giving the Ministry of Magic the finger.
  • Can’t decide what’s funnier — watching Rupert Grint squirm at the spiders or watching Kenny do the same thing.
  • Petrified students, man-eating spiders. It’s easy to forget that nobody in the Harry Potter books actually DIES until book four.
  • Well… not “on-camera” deaths, anyway.
  • Five more minutes and they would have found Lockhart’s office window open, flapping in the breeze. Douchebag.
  • Y’know, people whose only previous ghost experience is with Casper will find Myrtle even creepier than she already is.
  • Wait, what about Quirrell? Was Quirrell’s death actually SHOWN, or did Harry just learn about it later? Help me, fellow Potter geeks!
  • Myrtle offering to share her toilet with Harry’s ghost is the creepiest moment in all seven movies.
  • Dammit, Lockhart! Stop being useless and go direct THOR or something.
  • For a guy who’s been locked in a diary for 50 years, Tom Riddle is awfully spry.
  • Hey, Harry! FUN WITH ANAGRAMS! Oh, also, that guy you’re hanging with is the Antichrist.
  • Let the ink flow like blood! #SuckItVoldie
  • The way all the little elements from the early stories come together in the end is one of the things I love about Harry Potter.
  • Dobby seriously looks like he’s about to wet himself.
  • Honestly, I think all the Hermione/Harry shippers were deluding themselves as early as the end of the second movie.
  • Finished Chamber of Secrets. Gonna get some food and come back for Prisoner of Azkaban.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

  • I kinda feel bad for the Dursleys. Great actors to begin with, and their parts really were shortened in the films.
  • Funny-as I watch I keep thinking of bits of inner monologue from the books that were left out of the films.
  • Commissioner Gordon is in Arkham? Wait, wrong franchise…
  • I’d love to assign my students a book that could bite their faces off. But only some of them.
  • Dementors: Soulless. Joy-killing. Beneath their hoods, you see Mike Bellamy.
  • It’s odd — Gambon has been Dumbledore for so long now that when he turns up here it’s like going back to normal.
  • Physically, Emma Thompson isn’t how I pictured Trelawney. But damn if she didn’t nail the part.
  • As the kids walk to Hagrid’s, Kenny identifies a random bunny hopping behind them. I’ve never seen that before.
  • Damn, I want a hippogriff.
  • Malfoy gets slashed taunting the hippogriff. My reaction: “Douchetard.” #HatesMeSomeMalfoy
  • I really like these transition scenes of the Dementors floating around the school grounds and generally messing things up.
  • Not being snarky. I genuinely think they’re well-composed and well-shot.
  • Parvati changes the Boggart from a snake into a clown. Frankly, the clown is a hell of a lot scarier.
  • Just from a visual standpoint, Cuaron is a fine director. The camera going through the mirrored cabinet is a great shot.
  • Snape gives a lesson on werewolves. For one of the greatest spies of all time, he doesn’t do “subtle” well.
  • Harry falls, Dumbledore waves his hand. Dude doesn’t even NEED a wand. Bitch is GANGSTA.
  • This is the first time the twins are really entertaining as a comedy duo. I totally want a marauder’s map.
  • Honestly, folks, I’m not a “shipper.” I’m willing to see the relationships develop however the writer wants them to go.
  • But at this point, anyone who was still crying for Hermione to get with Harry was DELUSIONAL.
  • Invisibility cloaks are the Wikileaks of the Harry Potter Universe.
  • If McGonagall couldn’t be all my teachers, I’d take a Remus Lupin.
  • Harry swears “My dad didn’t strut!” Actually, Harry, as it turns out, he kinda did…
  • Love how Trelawney goes from CREEPY VOICE PROPHECY GONNA SCARE THE PISS OUT OF YOU to CHAAK! CHAAK! Hairball.
  • Hermione punches Malfoy like he’s a little BITCH. #causeheis #abitch #MalfoynotHermione
  • Kenny wants a hippogriff-whackin’ axe. Presumably for whackin’ hippogriffs.
  • If I was an animagus, I’d turn into a platypus. Because as we’ve learned, NOBODY suspects the platypus.
  • You know who’s awesome? Gary Oldman. And he’s in a room with Alan Rickman. #AwesomeOverload
  • If there’s any character I despise more than the spineless little Malfoy, it’s the disgusting traitor Pettigrew.
  • Aw. Harry has a godfather. Who cares about him. He gets to be happy. For like 12 seconds.
  • Odd, the clothes transformed WITH Wormtail before. Why’d he leave them behind this time?
  • The werewolf attacks and, AGAIN, who tries to save Harry? Snape. Just ’cause he’s a douche doesn’t mean he’s not with the good guys.
  • I would also like my Patronus to be a platypus. Wearing a fedora. Y’know. If I got to choose.
  • Man. Harry passes out a lot in this movie.
  • And now for the Timey-Wimey stuff. Even though the Doctor isn’t in the series until the fourth movie.
  • I’m pretty sure that either Phineas or Ferb grows up to be Dumbledore. Dude knows EVERYTHING.
  • Aw. Harry has dreams. Like the universe is gonna be that nice to him.
  • That is one spindly-ass werewolf. #JustSaying
  • “My dad’s patronus can kick YOUR dad’s patronus’s ASS!”
  • Lupin is quitting over the whole werewolf thing. I’ve met teachers who build careers on a shakier basis.
  • This is what drives me CRAZY about Azkaban the movie. They couldn’t spare 30 seconds to explain where the Marauder’s Map came from?
  • And that’s it for Azkaban, Tweeps! The marathon will conclude tomorrow!

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

  • Poor Dursleys get left out of this one altogether.
  • Wait! Why isn’t Cedric sparkling? #RequisiteGobletofFire/TwilightJoke
  • Love how Quidditch fans, like football fans, dress just as nerdy as comic fans do. Not that they’d admit it.
  • It does, however, frustrate a bit that we don’t see a single second of the actual World Cup game in the film. Cut much, Newell?
  • They get through the first 300 pages of the book in the first 15 minutes of the movie. #GobletofFire
  • Whoa, Tennant. That is NOT a Sonic Screwdriver in your hand! #ResquisiteGobletofFire/DoctorWhoJoke
  • Cho Chang is the Gwen Stacy of this series. The hero winds up with the redhead instead and some people never freaking get over it.
  • The whole Moody storyline is one of the best-constructed reveals in all of the series.
  • Damn, I wish I had an eye like Mad-Eye’s. #MakingTeachingFun
  • This is really the first time in the movies we get a hint as to how screwed up Neville’s childhood was.
  • “I know he’s 14, but his name came out of the cup. We’ve GOT to put him in mortal danger!” Damn, Hogwarts is STRICT…
  • Call me an old fogey, but every damn kid in this movie needs a friggin’ haircut.
  • The scary thing about Rita Skeeter is how close she is to journalists in real-life.
  • Hey Ron, y’know what’s unreasonable? Turning your back on your best friend when someone’s trying to kill him.
  • Ah, kids wearing “Potter Stinks” badges… it takes me back to my high school days…
  • If I could only tell you how many times I’ve wanted to turn one of my students into a ferret…
  • “What’re you gonna do with your dragon?” DAY-YUM, Mad-Eye… that’s kind of personal, isn’t it?
  • And your prize for surviving: a screaming golden Easter Egg!
  • “I suppose I was a bit distraught. And by distraught I mean… COMPLETELY TRAUGHT!” #IfRonWasADoofenshmirtz
  • Really, Rita? The “Bulgarian BonBon?”
  • Ron isn’t ALWAYS unreasonable. That is EXACTLY how uncomfortable you should feel ballroom dancing with an elderly teacher.
  • “Hermione… you’re a girl.” Damn, Ron is stealing his moves from 9th-grade me.
  • I know you’re 14 and an idiot, Ron. I was 14 and an idiot too. But girls don’t get THAT mad unless they’re crazy about you. #seriously,Yo
  • Whenever Cedric shows up I expect him to tell Harry who to be friends with and then try to break up with him for his own protection.
  • Myrtle in the bathroom asking Harry if he’s been a “Bad Boy again.” Yeah, nothing creepy about that.
  • Cutting Dobby from this movie wasn’t a bad move. In fact, using Neville to get the gillyweed actually works better to develop his character.
  • Saving all of the captives: Harry’s a little dense, but for the right reasons. Like most great heroes.
  • “No big deal, guys. I find bodies in the woods all the time.” #BartyCrouchHadItComing
  • I don’t know why Crouch Jr. is so worried. If they execute him, he’ll just turn into Matt Smith.
  • In fiction, dreams always have some deep significance. In real life, I have dreams about eating pancakes.
  • As the third task begins, Kenny and I each start singing “Oom-pah, Oom-pah” along with the Hogwarts Orchestra. #NEEEEEERDS
  • Okay, this is in fact much creepier than most hedge mazes I’ve been in. MOST.
  • You know what most graveyards I’ve been in don’t have? Giant scythe-wielding statues of the grim reaper. Bums people out.
  • Aaaand, there goes Cedric. First on-screen human death in the series. I think.
  • Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew. Naked Voldemort. #GrodyToTheMax
  • Ralph Fiennes actually looks like this in real life. They use CGI in all his OTHER movies to GIVE him a nose.
  • Wait, the parents of all the douchebag kids at Hogwarts are in Voldie’s Super Special Club For Death Eaters? #DidntSeeTHATComing
  • Voldemort on Cedric’s Corpse: “Such a handsome boy.” Evidently, he’s Team Edward.
  • Harry and Voldemort are crossing the streams!
  • Radcliffe is coming into his own as an actor here. He seems genuinely broken up over Cedric, Voldemort, economic situation in Greece, etc.
  • I TOTALLY want a suitcase like Moody’s.
  • Oh man, Moody is regenerating!
  • “I put you in terrible danger this Harry… but wait until you see what I do to you in year SIX!”
  • And that’s it for Goblet of Fire. Order of the Phoenix, you’re on deck!

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

  •  Geez, Dudley has turned into Eminem’s weenier younger brother.
  • The Dementor fight at the beginning is cool. I like how David Yates didn’t reinvent the wheel in how the effects look.
  • I wouldn’t want to be called “Nymphadora” either, to be fair.
  • Oh good. They all got haircuts since the last movie. #DirtyHippies
  • Dammit, Molly, the kid deserves to know.
  • Screw you, guys in funny hats. Dumbledore is gonna SCHOOL your asses. #InCourtNotInSchool
  • “Here are pictures of lots of dead people, like your parents, Harry.” #GodfatherBonding
  • Enter: Luna Lovegood. Slightly mad, and totally awesome.
  • Imelda Staunton is a great actress. I want to strangle her in her first five minutes.
  • I could write long essays on how Umbridge is indicative of every problem in the educational system.
  • Kenny says he would shove Umbridge’s pen into her left eye. My question: Why the LEFT, specifically?
  • Kenny’s reply: “Because I’m right-handed.” Makes sense.
  • Come on, admit it. You all wanted to see McGonagall bitch-slap Umbridge back to the Chamber of Secrets.
  • Although I admit, if I could use a magic wand to make ’em yank up their damn pants, I would.
  • You see, this is what happens when you choose a minister of magic named FUDGE. In 2012 I’m voting for Candidate Jim WalnutBrownies
  • Yates seems to have picked up on some of the cool camerawork and scene transitions Cuaron did in Azkaban.
  • I totally want to bring back “Tosspot” as an insult term.
  • Irving from Phineas and Ferb=Colin Creevy in Harry Potter.
  • You gotta wonder how badly written the Civil Rights laws in the wizarding world are for Umbridge to get away with her crap.
  • I prefer the Harry/Cho kiss from the book, full of tears, humiliation, guilt and self-doubt. Way more true to the high school experience.
  • Snape really needs to learn to put his personal feelings aside. HARRY IS YOUR ONLY HOPE, dude. You KNOW this.
  • Helena Bonham Carter has the perfect balance of creepy and insane to play Bellatrix.
  • Love the scene where the kids conjure up their Patronuses. The animal forms say a lot about them, I think.
  • “Dumbledore’s got style.” Damn straight.
  • Hagrid trying to defend Grawp is like Emilio Estevez trying to explain Charlie Sheen’s behavior. Dude. We get it.
  • You DO have to feel for Snape. And for Harry, really, when you realize James wasn’t as awesome as Harry always thought he was.
  • The twins’ exit from Hogwarts is legendary.
  • Hermione lies to Umbridge. Ron’s love deepens…
  • THIS is why I love Neville’s character. He’s ready to saddle up and ride without being asked.
  • The prophecies falling down is like every librarian’s worst nightmare.
  • The fan reaction to Sirus’s death always surprised me. He was an interesting character, but never as interesting to me as others.
  • It stings a little, realizing that this is the last time Dumbledore will be able to save the day.
  • Dumbledore makes the classic teacher’s mistake: caring too much. #NoSeriously
  • Order of the Phoenix ends. Now for some recording, then Half-Blood Prince.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

  • Five movies down, two to go in the marathon. LET’S DO THIS!
  • HBP viewing briefly delayed because we didn’t realize it was a 2-disc set. Kept trying to find the “play” option on special features disc.
  • Waitress flirts with Harry — blocked by Dumbledore. #WorldsWorstWingman
  • Ladies and gentlemen, the great Jim Broadbent!
  • Slughorn is the only Slytherin we ever meet who isn’t a raging douchenozzle. #AmIRite?
  • I’m sure Timothy Spall is a very kind, generous person. But if I ever met him in person, all I’d see is Wormtail. #AndKickHimInTheBalls
  • Carter puts a deliberate sexual undertone into every line she says. Or maybe that’s just how she is. #CharlieBucketsMomma
  • As a teacher, it’s such a damn good thing for me that the Weasley’s store doesn’t really exist.
  • Tom Felton’s acting skill on display again. He’s still arrogant, but for the first time, he seems a little scared as well.
  • Harry is about to learn why college students throughout history ALWAYS buy the used textbooks.
  • Gotta love a school where a junior-level class involves the creation of toxic chemicals.
  • Dumbledore explains that Hogwarts is a school, not a place for “mad people.” Some days I’m not sure of the difference.
  • Dude, you’re RIDING A BROOMSTICK and the best innuendo you can come up with is “getting on a first name basis”? Laaaaaame.
  • The cultural influence of these films is incalculable. Because of Harry Potter, American kids now know the term “snogging.”
  • Jolly old professor invites a bunch of students to a “private dinner.” Nothing unusual about that at all right?
  • Man, I want a Quidditch uniform. #DamnItFeelsGoodToBeAGangsta
  • Of course, Luna’s lion-hat is the fashion statement of the decade.
  • Ways to ruin a Christmas party: Puking on Snape’s shoes.
  • I think Lavender Brown would have been better suited in a Twilight book.
  • Ooooh, so THIS is why Johnny Depp says you never invite Helena Bonham Carter to your Christmas party…
  • The Battle at the Burrow is particularly well-shot.
  • Harry does know what buttons to push with Slughorn, doesn’t he?
  • Ron under the influence of a love potion isn’t that different from some kids I teach on a daily basis.
  • Now that I think about it, Ron getting Roofied may be the last purely funny scene in the Harry Potter series. After this… stuff happens.
  • Just tried to buy tickets for DHPart 2 tomorrow. Thought everything was sold out before 7:45. Realized we were looking at today. #Doh
  • I like calling people “Dimbo” too. We should bring “Dimbo” back. #ButNotWon-Won
  • Sectumsempra: Harry gives Malfoy what we’ve wanted to see him get for six movies… and it’s HORRIFYING.
  • Why the hell don’t people drink this lucky potion EVERY DAY? Seriously.
  • KENNY: A doped up Harry is a funny Harry.
  • I spoke to soon about Ron’s love potion being the last funny bit. I forgot Harry hopped up on the luck potion.
  • Slughorn could have dripped out of a Greek tragedy. Complete with hubris and his terrible comeuppance.
  • Here we go — the Horcrux Info Dump.
  • Dumbledore: “At times I still see the small boy from the cupboard.” Dude, don’t we all?
  • Dumbledore drinking from the basin — one of the most painful scenes in the book. The movie didn’t quite match it.
  • Harry, Harry. You shoot zombies IN THE HEAD. What do they TEACH you at that school?
  • Every time they flash to Malfoy, I just mutter, “Bastard.”
  • Malfoy. Spineless, pathetic Malfoy, so desperate to be important, so scared to be on the wrong side.
  • When I read this scene in Half-Blood Prince the first time, I was ready to kill Snape myself.
  • Then I re-read, and re-thought. By the time Deathly Hallows came out, I was defending him to anyone who’d listen.
  • Even now, with Dumbledore dead and Hagrid’s home in flames, he is PROTECTING Harry. So hard to see, so clear in hindsight.
  • I truly have nothing snarky to say about this scene. Dumbledore, fallen, wands raised to the sky…
  • Hey, fake locket! Thanks LOADS, R.A.B. #DammitAll
  • Important lessons from Harry Potter: There’s never any shame in needing your friends.
  • Half-blood prince ends. Let’s record…

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1

  • Literally the beginning of the end…
  • Am I the only one who kinda wants to see the Harry Potter movies remade in LEGO? I am? Okay…
  • Is there a scarier way to start a movie than an extreme close-up of Bill Nighy’s eyeballs? I submit: no.
  • “We’ve captured a teacher from Hogwarts. What? No, none of the main characters ever took her class, it made it easier to cast her now.”
  • Oh right — there’s a BILL Weasley too. Nice to see him show up.
  • Seven Harry Potters. How many fanfics did THIS scene inspire?
  • I forgot how early the bloodbath started in Deathly Hallows.
  • Holy crap! Neville Longbottom is trending on Twitter right now! #BecauseHesAWESOME
  • You know, when you get right down to it, Deathly Hallows is a war movie.
  • (A friend replies with “Uh… duh?”) I mean in a classic “Saving Private Ryan,” “Thin Red Line” kind of way.
  • HARRY: “Nobody else is going to die.” ME: “Hoo, boy, are you wrong…”
  • It’s hard to kiss a girl when her six older brothers are walking around the house, isn’t it Harry?
  • I can admit it now. Rita Skeeter is the reason I quit working for newspapers.
  • The Trio wandering London makes it clear that the filmmakers weren’t concerned with setting the movie in 1998, like the book was.
  • This isn’t a complaint (the year isn’t really important), just an observation.
  • Hermione is getting good at that memory-erasure thing. Zatanna could have taken lessons.
  • I don’t think I’m alone in proclaiming that Kreacher is a despicable little jerk.
  • The entries to the Ministry of Magic are all rather… eccentric.
  • Thank Goodness Ron is still here to drop in the occasional chuckle. That’s a heroic act in an of itself at this point.
  • Re: the propaganda printing press. “Subtlety?” the producers ask. “What’s subtlety?”
  • So nice to see Umbridge get a spell in the face.
  • Ron’s arm getting splinched is pretty gory for a “kid’s movie,” eh?
  • Sorry, Harry. You can’t just zap a Horcrux away.
  • Sweet. Hermione conjured the Cone of Silence. #HereComesMaxwellSmart
  • These scenes where they wander through empty trailer parks and the like feel like a zombie movie to me.
  • All the spells Hermione knows and there’s not one for cutting hair?
  • Okay, Ron, I know you’re wearing the One Ri–Um… Horcrux Locket, but you’re acting like a jerk here.
  • After six and a half movies, Ron gives Harry a “SEE ya! Wouldn’t wanna be ya!” #IcantPullThatOffCanI?
  • We’re at the infamous dancing scene. I know some people hate it. I love it.
  • This is one of those moments – as bad as things are, as hard as they’ve gotten, as scared as our heroes have grown…
  • …they need just this one moment of being kids and being friends to keep from going utterly, utterly mad.
  • Harry just called Voldemort “You-Know-Who.” He never does that in the seventh book, does he?
  • Wow. It gets cold and snow-covered FAST in England.
  • Creepiest Christmas Eve EVER.
  • KENNY: Going to a graveyard to look for your parents is hard no mater how old you are.
  • You know what’s creepier than creepy old ladies? Creepy old ladies who REFUSE TO TALK.
  • I’m having a similar conversation with these characters as I do when we do our Halloween movie marathons.
  • I imagine having your wand broken in half to a wizard is the equivalent of getting the Joey Buttafuocco treatment.
  • It’s always handy when your dead father mother’s animal form leads you to the frozen pond where the sword you’re looking for has been hidden. (Thanks to Erin for correcting me!)
  • KENNY: I’ve never heard @BlakeMP say bitch so much,when certain characters appear on screen.
  • ME: @Kfanguy Well Malfoy IS a little bitch. #NotJustMalfoy
  • Out of all the magical cures the wizards have, they still can’t fix eyesight or baldness. #WhatsUpWithThat?
  • KENNY: Its cute how they all refer to that toothpick as a sword.
  • Gotta imagine Ron’s nightmare was the most awkward day of filming in all eight movies.
  • Hermione is smacking Ron around, and you know he likes it.
  • Hermione is absolutely the mom of this series, isn’t she?
  • “Harry Potter? Never heard of you.” #ExcusesThatDontWork
  • I LOVE the animated tale of the three brothers. Fantastic sequence.
  • Seriously, I could watch a whole movie animated in this style.
  • I can’t really blame Lovegood for what he does. He’s a broken parent. That’s… that’s just harsh.
  • KENNY: Dried out hippies,don’t trust them.#JustInCase
  • Geez, Harry looks like he got kicked in the face by a Thestral.
  • Bellatrix comes from a long line of villains that will gleefully kill their own henchmen to prove a point.
  • Luna! Hey! We’ve missed your brand of gentle insanity. As opposed to Bellatrix’s style of murderous insanity.
  • Famed actor John Hurt. His second scene in seven movies.
  • When Hermione is in trouble, RON STEPS UP. Doesn’t SUCCEED, but he STEPS UP.
  • Yeah! Drop that chandelier! #TeamDobby
  • Yeah. Yeah, this part… this sucks. :sadface:
  • Kenny can tell from the handle that Bellatrix’s knife was kept in her cleavage. Kenny knows stuff.
  • I am NOT getting teary over a house elf. Dammit, Kenny, why is your apartment so dusty all of a sudden?
  • Now Kenny is critiquing the corpse-burying capabilities of Harry and his friends. #DudeIsScaringMe
  • #OhNoHeFollowsMeOnTwitter
  • Kenny is AWESOME!
  • (Everyone else, please note I was last seen wearing jeans and a purple New Orleans Voodoo T-shirt.)
  • Whatcha got there, Voldie? Is that a wand? Kind of an important one? Think you’re it’s master now, right? #Suckaaaaa…
  • Aaaand that’s it, folks! Seven movies in two days! My ass is NUMB.
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2 Responses to “The Seven Harry Potters”


  1. 1 bigwords88
    July 19, 2011 at 10:07 am

    You… watched them all in two days?

    My mind, it boggles… (and you’re completely right about the pictures, that’s decades worth of therapy for younger viewers right there)


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