Everything You Need to Know to Survive English Class Lecture 1: F. Scott Fitzgerald and The Great Gatsby

The first lecture from “Everything You Need to Know to Survive English Class” is now online! In this lecture, we discuss F. Scott Fitzgerald and The Great Gatsby.

And don’t forget, the book is available from Amazon.com!

The fate of George Wilson

Fair warning: the following post spoils the ending of The Great Gatsby.

No, the novel. The real one.

Anyway, as I’m currently teaching Gatsby to my 11th grade students — you know, like you do — I’ve had way too much time as of late to think about the characters. Particularly the character of poor cuckolded George Wilson. And I’ve come to a startling conclusion.

At the end of The Great Gatsby, George Wilson — having murdered Gatsby in cold blood, believing he was having an affair with his wife — commits suicide. He was brought to this point, I submit, by a life that was never what it really should have been. He owned his own business, but the garage was unprofitable and he was often on the brink of being destitute. He had a wife, Myrtle, but she never truly loved him. Myrtle Wilson treated her husband with open contempt and flagrantly defied their marriage vows by running around with Tom Buchanan, a fact obvious to virtually everybody but simple-minded George Wilson. No, poor George wasn’t all that bright. He was naive and easily fooled: the only reason he targeted Gatsby at all is because Tom gave him the perfectly accurate yet horribly misleading information that Gatsby owned the yellow car that killed Myrtle. His naivety pushed him towards his ruin. And through it all, George was trapped beneath the harsh, watchful, judging eyes of Dr. T.J. Eckleberg’s enormous billboard, looking down at him from behind its pair of gigantic spectacles, peering at him like the eyes of God.

After his death, though, George awakens to a new life. Gone is the responsibility of his own business, replaced instead with a job that is physically demanding (for which he is suited), but stable and respected. George has become a mailman. In his new life, George meets and marries a girl named Martha. Martha is everything Myrtle was not — kind, intelligent, compassionate, and unselfish. George loves her deeply. After years of hard but satisfying work, George and Martha quietly retire, to live out their days in happiness together.

Then, a new family moves in next door. Although seemingly normal and pleasant, there is a child that vexes George. The boy is troublesome — almost dangerous. He constantly causes damage to George’s property and physical harm to George’s being, causing him to fall from ladders, trip over toys and otherwise suffer a litany of abrasions and bruises. George cannot retaliate, however, due to the youth of the child that good-hearted Martha has taken a liking to. What’s more, the boy appears to have no actual malice in him — the destruction left in his wake is the result of simple-mindedness and a lack of forethought, much like that left by George in his own previous existence. George is crushed under the boy’s affection — he considers the old man to be his best friend, and George endures for Martha’s sake, hoping the child will grow out of it.

But the boy does not.

As time goes on, not only do the boy’s antics grow more cartoonishly outlandish, but more destructive as well. Damage to George’s car, his home, the ruination of a priceless collection of stamps become common. Their encounters become an almost daily occurrence, with longer, more colorful episodes happening on Sundays. True horror sets in when it occurs to George that it has been years — perhaps decades — since he first encountered the child, and nothing is changing. The town stays the same, he and Martha do not age, and the boy — the terrible, devastating sprite — is perpetually six years old. And what’s more, nobody but George seems to realize they have become frozen in time.

It finally dawns on George. He is in Hell. This is his punishment for Jay Gatsby’s murder. Day after day, year after year of slow torture at the hands of little Dennis Mitchell, who simply does not know any better.

But George knows. God is watching. God is laughing at him still, every time something happens. George can see Him in the huge, round spectacles Dennis’s father wears, for George Wilson recognizes that gaze… not from the eyes of Henry Mitchell, but as the watchful stare of Dr. T.J. Eckleberg.

2 in 1 Showcase Episode 287: Summer Movie Preview 2013

The temperatures are rising and it’s almost time to seek refuge in a nice, air-conditioned movie theater. This week, Blake and Erin walk you through all the big releases of Summer 2013 — what we’re excited about, what we couldn’t care less about, and a heck of a lot in-between. In the picks, Erin is getting into the BBC’s Sherlock, and Blake’s favorite new comic of 2012 Danger Club, returns from hiatus. Contact us with comments, suggestions, or anything else at Showcase@CXPulp.com!

Music provided by Music Alley from Mevio.

2 in 1 Showcase Episode 287: Summer Movie Preview 2013

What I’m Reading in 2011

And now, like I did with the movies yesterday, it’s time to begin my running tally of the books I’ve read/am reading in 2011. I’m always a little ashamed that this list is invariably shorter than the movie list, even though it takes considerably longer to read most books (exception: Billy’s Looking at Me: A Family Circus Collection) than watch most movies (exception: Avatar). But I try to take comfort in the fact that I read more books in January than most of my students will read all year. As always, if it’s a book I’ve reviewed, I’ll make it a link.

1. Assholes Finish First (2010) by Tucker Max, B
2. Stupid American History: Tales of Stupidity, Strangeness, and Mythconceptions (2009) by Leland Gregory, B-
3. Feed (2010) by Mira Grant, A
4. Twisted Toyfare Theater Vol.11 (2011), B*
5. Tangled: The Graphic Novel (2010), C-*
6. The Inner Circle (2011) by Brad Meltzer, A
7. The Customer is Always Wrong (2008) edited by Jeff Martin, B-
8. The Complete Peanuts: 1975-1976 (2010) by Charles M. Schulz, A*
9. The Onion Presents The Finest Reporting on Literature, Media, and Other Dying Art Forms (2010), B
10. Maus: A Survivor’s Tale Vol. 1: My Father Bleeds History (1986) by Art Spiegelman, A*
11. Maus: A Survivor’s Tale Vol. 2: And Here My Troubles Began (1991) by Art Spiegelman, A*
12. The Crucible (1953) by Arthur Miller,A+•
13. Cake Wrecks (2009) by Jen Yates, B+
14. The Ten-Cent Plague: The Great Comic-Book Scare and How it Changed America (2008) by David Hajdu, A
15. The Book of Vice: Very Naughty Things (and How to Do Them) (2007) by Peter Sagal, B+
16. Tales of the Green Lantern Corps Vol. 2 (2010), A*
17. The War For Late Night: When Leno Went Early and Television Went Crazy (2010) by Bill Parker, A-
18. The Night of January 16th (1933) by Ayn Rand, B•
19. American On Purpose (2009) by Craig Ferguson, B+
20. Superman: Our Worlds At War-The Complete Collection (2006), B+*
21. Comic Books and Other Necessities of Life (2002) by Mark Evanier, B
22. Your Flying Car Awaits (2009) by Paul Milo, B-
23. John Dies at the End (2009) by David Wong, B
24. “When Sysadmins Ruled the Earth” (2007) by Cory Doctorow, B-
25. “The Black Cat” (1843) by Edgar Allan Poe, A
26. Room (2010) by Emma Donoghue, A
27. Limitless (2001) by Alan Glynn, B
28. Your Wildest Dreams, Within Reason (2011) by Mike Sacks, C+
29.  “How Interesting: A Tiny Man” (2010) by Harlan Ellison, B-
30. Crescent (2009) by Phil Rossi, B
31. The Secret World Chronicle Book 1: Invasion (2006) by Mercedes Lackey & Steve Libby, B^
32. Son of Superman (2000) by Howard Chaykin & David Tischman, B*
33. Blood is Red (2011) by Scott Sigler, B+
34. The Throne of Fire (2011) by Rick Riordan, B
35. Fiends Vol. One (2011) by Paul Eldard Cooley, B+
36. Subculture Vol. 1: The Wrath of Geek (2011) by Kevin Freeman & Stan Yan, B*
37. The Hunger Games (2008) by Suzanne Collins, A
38. Peanuts: Happiness is a Warm Blanket, Charlie Brown (2011) by Craig Schulz & Stephan Patsis, B*
39. Catching Fire (2009) by Suzanne Collins, B
40. Mockingjay (2010) by Suzanne Collins, B+
41. Secret Warriors Vol. 1: Nick Fury-Agent of Nothing (2009) by Jonathan Hickman, A*
42. Deadline (2011) by Mira Grant, B+
43. Zombies!: An Illustrated History of the Undead (2011) by Jovanka Vuckovic, B-
44. Cujo (1981) by Stephen King, B
45. Locke and Key Vol. 1: Welcome to Lovecraft (2008) by Joe Hill, A-*
46. Penny Arcade Vol. 7: Be Good, Little Puppy (2011) by Jerry Holkins & Mike Krahulik, B*
47. New Teen Titans: Games (2011) by Marv Wolfman & George Perez, A*
48. Supergods: What Masked Vigilantes, Miraculous Mutants, and a Sun God From Smallville Can Teach Us About Being Human (2011) by Grant Morrison, A-
49. Clients From Hell (2011) by Anonymous, B
50. Lisey’s Story (2006) by Stephen King, C
51. Locke and Key Vol. 2: Head Games (2010) by Joe Hill, A*
52. Locke and Key Vol. 3: Crown of Shadows (2010) by Joe Hill, A*
53. On Writing (2000) by Stephen King, A
54. Alfred Hitchcock and the Making of Psyco (1990), Stephen Rebello, B+
55. “Mile 81” (2011), Stephen King, B
56. The Stand (1990 unabridged edition), Stephen King, A+
57. The All-Pro (2011), Scott Sigler, A
58. Heaven (2011), Mur Lafferty, B+
59. Hell (2011), Mur Lafferty, B
60. Five Women Wearing the Same Dress (1993), by Alan Ball, B•
61. The Scribbler’s Guide to the Land of Myth (2008), Sarah Beach, A
62. The Gunslinger (2003 revised edition), Stephen King, B+
63. The Starter (2010) by Scott Sigler, A^
64. Who Goes There? (1938) by John W. Campbell, B+
65. The Drawing of the Three (1986), by Stephen King, B
66. “The Monster in My Closet” (2011), by Wil Wheaton, B+
67. Bill Shakespeare’s Next Big Mistake (2011) by Renee Harrell, B-•
68.  “The Fall of the House of Usher” (1839), by Edgar Allan Pe, B
69. The Waste Lands (1991), by Stephen King, A
70. Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (1981), by Alvin Schwartz, B-
71. More Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (1984), by Alvin Schwartz, B-
72. Wreck the Halls (2011) by Jen Yates, B+
73. 11/22/63 (2011), by Stephen King, A
74. The Son of Neptune (2011), by Rick Riordan, B
75. Mythology: The DC Comics Art of Alex Ross (2003), by Chip Kidd, A
76. Batman: Noel (2011) by Lee Bermejo, B+*
77. Storm Front (2000) by Jim Butcher, B
78. The Adventures of Chrissie Claus Vol. 1 (2009), B*
79. A Christmas Story (2003) by Jean Shepherd, A
80. The Book of  (Holiday) Awesome (2011) , by Neil Pasricha, C+
81. The Great Gatsby (1924), F. Scott Fitzgerald, A
82. A Married Man’s Guide to Christmas (2011), by Robert Henry, B+
83. Batman: The Black Mirror (2011) by Scott Snyder, A*
84. Zombies Christmas Carol (2011) by Jim McCann, B+*
85. Walt Disney’s Christmas Classics (2009), B
86. Archie’s Classic Christmas Stories Vol. 1 (2002), B
87. “Nicholas Was…” (1989), by Neil Gaiman, A
88. Nicholas St. North and the Battle of the Nightmare King (2011) by Laura Geringer & William Joyce, B-

*-Denotes graphic novel or comic strip collection
•-Denotes stage play or screenplay
^-Denotes audiobook

Last updated on December 30, 2011.

What I’m Watching in 2011

Okay, we’re over a month into the year, it’s time for me to begin my running tally of movies I’ve watched in 2011. Those of you who see this list when it’s first posted will notice a definite trend towards 2010 films. If you’ve read this post, that makes a lot more sense. At any rate, this is where I’m keeping my annual running tally of the movies I see this year, and my quick rating of them. And if I review a movie at any of the many websites where I turn out such content, I’ll throw up a link.

1. How to Train Your Dragon (2010), B+
2. Infestation (2009), B+
3. Hot Tub Time Machine (2010), A
4. True Grit (2010), A+
5. Shutter Island (2010), B-
6. Robin Hood (2010), C
7. Easy A (2010), A-
8. Splice (2009), D-
9. Dinner For Schmucks (2010), B-
10. Buried (2010), B+
11. The Social Network (2010), A
12. Repo Men (2010), C
13. Logan’s Run (1976), B
14. Exam (2008), A
15. The Town (2010), A
16. Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole (2010), B
17. Fame (2009), B-
18. Back to the Future (1985), A+
19. Superman (1978), A+
20. Cop Out (2010), D
21. The Sorcerer’s Apprentice (2010), C
22. All-Star Superman (2011), A
23. The Crucible (1996), A
24. Unknown (2011), C+
25. Legion (2010), C-
26. The Book of Eli (2010), C+
27. Mulholland Drive (2001), B
28. A Bug’s Life (1998), B
29. Battle: Los Angeles (2011), B
30. RED (2010), B+
31. Frozen (2010), B
32. Happiness is a Warm Blanket, Charlie Brown (2011), B+
33. A Beautiful Mind (2002), A
34. Machete (2010), D
35. Monsters (2010), C
36. Let Me In (2010), B
37. Limitless (2011), B+
38. Devil (2010), C+
39. 30 Days of Night: Dark Days (2010), C-
40. Scream (1996), A
41. Scream 2 (1997), B
42. Scream 3 (2000), B-
43. To Kill a Mockingbird (1962), A+
44. Love and Other Drugs (2010), B+
45. Moon (2009), A
46. Fight Club (1999), B
47. Megamind (2010), B
48. Scream 4 (2011), B+
49. The Experiment (2010), B
50. It’s Kind of a Funny Story (2010), A-
51. The King’s Speech (2010), A
52. Lottery Ticket (2010), C
53. Mary Poppins (1964), A
54. Ghostbusters 2 (1989), B+
55. Wall•E (2008), A
56. The Other Guys (2010), D
57. Akira (1988), B
58. The Boys: The Sherman Brothers Story (2009), A
59. The Phantom Tollbooth (1970), A
60. The Last Unicorn (1982), B+
61. Chicken Little (2005), B
62. The Fighter (2010), B
63. Saw: The Final Chapter (2010), B-
64. Memento (2000), A
65. The Untouchables (1987), A
66. Thor (2011), A
67. Firebreather (2010), B-
68. Bookwars (2000), B-
69. Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy (2010), A
70. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011), C
71. Not the Messiah (He’s a Very Naughty Boy) (2010), B+
72. Die Hard (1988), A
73. The Adventures of Huck Finn (1993), B+
74. The Princess Bride (1987), A+
75. Holes (2003), B+
76. Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975), B+
77. Skyline (2010), D
78. The Last Airbender (2010), C-
79. The Last Starfighter (1984), A
80. Duck Soup (1933), A+
81. The Hangover Part II (2011), B
82. Piranha (2010), C+
83. UHF (1989), B
84. Spaceballs (1987), B
85. The Golem: How He Came Into the World (1920), B+
86. Labyrinth (1986), A
87. The Green Hornet (2011), D+
88. Series 7: The Contenders (2001), B+
89. 127 Hours (2010), B+
90. Saludos Amigos (1942), B
91. The Three Caballeros (1944), B+
92. X-Men: First Class (2011), A-
93. The Last Man on Earth (1964), B
94. The Vampire’s Night Orgy (1973), F
95. Chloe (2009), B
96. Nosferatu (1922), A
97. The Virginity Hit (2010), B
98. The Color of Magic (2008), B
99. Green Lantern: Emerald Knights (2011), B+
100. Vanishing on 7th Street (2010), C+
101. Green Lantern: First Flight (2009), A-
102. Rubber (2010), C+
103. Walt and El Grupo (2008), B
104. Super 8 (2011), A
105. Big Fish (2003), A+
106. Black Death (2010), B
107. Battle Royale (2001), B+
108. The Faculty (1998), B-
109. Green Lantern (2011), B-
110. The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (2010), B-
111. Synecdoche, New York (2008), C
112. The Phantom of the Opera (1925), A
113. Fright Night (1985), B
114. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968), A
115. The Fugitive (1993), A
116. Cars (2006), B+
117. Cars 2 (2011), B+
118. After.Life (2009), C
119. Zapped! (1982), D
120. James and the Giant Peach (1996), B
121. Young Frankenstein (1974), A
122. The Addams Family (1991), B+
123. The Great Muppet Caper (1981), B
124. A Fairly Odd Movie: Grow Up, Timmy Turner (2011), D
125. Dracula (1931), B
126. Death Note (2006), B
127. Tales From the Script (2009), B+
128. Unthinkable (2010), B+
129. The Assassination of Jesse James By the Coward Robert Ford (2007), A-
130. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (2001), B
131. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002), B-
132. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004), B+
133. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005), B+
134. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2008), B-
135. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009), B+
136. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 (2010), A
137. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 (2011), A
138. Frankenstein (1931), A
139. The Mummy (1932), B
140. Be Kind, Rewind (2008), B
141. 25th Hour (2002), B
142. The Incredibles (2004), A+
143. Zodiac (2007), A
144. Rec (2007), B+
145. Captain America: The First Avenger (2011), A
146. Miller’s Tale (2011), B+
147. Freaks (1932), B
148. Red Riding Hood (2011), D
149. Battle Royale II (2003), C
150. Cowboys and Aliens (2011), C+
151. Ernest Goes to Camp (1987), B
152. Ernest Goes to Jail (1990), C+
153. The Beginning of the End (1957), F; MST3K Riff, B
154. Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966), F; MST3K Riff, B+
155. Phineas and Ferb: Across the 2nd Dimension (2011), A-
156. Batman: Mask of the Phantasm (1993), A
157. Cat People (1942), B
158. Curse of the Cat People (1944), C-
159. Sucker Punch (2011), D
160. The Fly (1958), A
     
161. Peeping Tom (1960), B
162. Best Worst Movie (2009), A
163. Troll 2 (1990), F
164. Psycho (1960), A
165. What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962), A
166. Quarantine 2: Terminal (2011), B
167. Super (2010), B+
168. The Haunting (1963), B
169. Night of the Living Dead (1968), A
170. The Last House on the Left (1972), C-
171. Suicide Girls Must Die (2011), C-
172. Wait Until Dark (1967), A
173. The Exorcist (1973), A
174. Gamera (1965), C; MST3K Riff, A
175. Gamera Vs. Barugon (1966), D; MST3K Riff, B+
176. Gamera Vs. Gaos (1967), D; MST3K Riff, B
177. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974), C+
178. Jaws (1975), A
179. Carrie (1976), B+
180. Suspiria (1977), D+
181. Gamera Vs. Guiron (1969), D; MST3K Riff, B+
182. Contagion (2011), C+
183. Halloween (1978), A
184. Alien (1979), A
185. The Shining (1980), C+
186. Friday the 13th (1980), B
187. The Evil Dead (1981), B+
188. The Thing (1982), A
189. Poltergeist (1982), B+
190. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984), B
191. Return of the Living Dead (1985), C-
192. Misery (1990), A
193. Ringu (1998), B+
194. The Blair Witch Project (1999), B
195. Saw (2004), A
196. The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad (1949), B+
197. The Creeping Terror (1964), F; MST3K riff, B+
198. Mad Monster Party (1967), B
199. Zombiemania (2008), B
200. Tower Heist (2011), B-
201. Scream: The Inside Story (2011), B
202. Still Screaming (2011), A
203. Your Highness (2011), D
204. Repo: The Genetic Opera (2008), B-
205. The Cannonball Run (1981), B
206. Batman: Year One (2011), A-
207. Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1987), A-
208. Up (2009), A+
209. The Muppets (2011), A
210. Good Luck Charlie: It’s Christmas (2011), B
211. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964), F; Cinematic Titanic Riff, B
212. Christmas and A Christmas Carol (2009), D
213. Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny (1972), F; RiffTrax, A
214. The Great Gatsby (1974), A
215. The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992), B+
216. Tom and Huck (1995), Bl
217. The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993), A
218. Mickey’s Once Upon a Christmas (1999), B
219. Joyeux Noel (Merry Christmas) (2005), A
220. Scrooged (1988), A-
221. The Magic Christmas Tree (1964), F; RiffTrax B+
222. It’s a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie (2002), B
223. The Lemon Drop Kid (1951), B
224. Miracle on 34th Street (1947), A+
225. It’s a Wonderful Life (1946), A+
226. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989), A
227. A Christmas Story (1983), A
228. Love, Actually (2002), A
229. Source Code, (2011), B+
230. Paul, (2011), C+
231. Tron: Legacy (2010), B+
232. Attack the Block (2011), B+l
233. The Captains (2011), A
234. Gnomeo and Juliet (2011), B
235. Dylan Dog: Dead of Night (2011), C

Last Updated on January 1, 2012.