2 in 1 Showcase Episode 275: The Ultimate Top Ten Movie Monsters

 

With Halloween so close, Blake and Erin discuss the greatest movie monsters of all time. Our picks, your choices, and the number one monster in cinema history wait for you in this week’s episode! In the picks, Erin loves The Walking Dead Compendium Vol. 2 and Blake goes with Locke and Key: Grindhouse and Marvel Zombies Halloween. Don’t forget to vote for this year’s Halloween movie marathon at the Fighting Fitness Fraternity Facebook Page! Contact us with comments, suggestions, or anything else at Showcase@CXPulp.com!

Music provided by Music Alley from Mevio.

Episode 275: Ultimate Top Ten Movie Monsters

Lunatics and Laughter Day 10: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)

Director: Fran Rubel Kuzui

Writer: Joss Whedon

Cast: Kristy Swanson, Donald Sutherland, Paul Rubens, Rutger Hauer, Luke Perry, Michele Abrams, Hilary Swank, David Arquette, Stephen Root, Natasha Gregson Wagner

Plot: Once in every generation a Chosen One is born, a young woman with the power to stand against the tide of the greatest predator in the world, the vampire. Unfortunately, this generation’s slayer is a ditzy cheerleader named Buffy Summers. Buffy (Kristy Swanson) and her friends are hanging out at the mall one day when she’s startled by a creepy figure (Donald Sutherland). She tries to shrug it off, but begins having dreams of an earlier life where she battled a vampire named Lothos (Rutger Hauer). In the present day, Lothos sleeps, but his minion Amilyn (Paul Reubens) is ready to wake him up. A pair of burnouts, Pike (Luke Perry) and Benny (David Arquette) encounter the girls a few times before wandering off, drunk. Benny is taken by Amilyn, while Pike is saved by the strange man from the mall, Merrick. He approaches Buffy and asks her to accompany him to a graveyard so she can claim her “birthright.” She doesn’t believe his claim that she is the Chosen One, but when he begins describing her dreams to her, she agrees to accompany him. Two freshly dead people rise, transformed into vampires, and Buffy instinctively stakes them.

Pike, home in bed, is approached by Benny, who hovers outside his window and cannot enter without an invitation. Benny cries that he’s hungry, brandishing a new pair of fangs, and Pike refuses him entry. Unnerved by the strange things he’s seen, Pike plans to leave town. Meanwhile Buffy, after some persuasion, begins the training she should have undergone years ago, taking to the night to slay the vampires.  She winds up saving Pike, whose effort to escape town is thwarted when he’s jumped by Amilyn. Amilyn escapes, but loses an arm in the process, and is scolded by Lothos for his failure.

At a basketball game, Buffy realizes one of her friends has been turned and pursues him through the streets of the city. Pike joins in the chase and the two, on motorcycles, hunt him to a storage yard for parade floats. Lothos and Merrick both intervene in the fight, and the vampire lord slays Buffy’s mentor. Buffy’s friends show no sympathy when she turns up depressed the next day, and she and Pike get in a fight in public over her unwillingness to continue the fight. Neither of them know Benny is nearby, hears the fight, and learns that Buffy is the Chosen One. With her name revealed, Amilyn and Lothos plan to destroy her.

Pike crashes the senior dance, dancing with and kissing Buffy just before Lothos’s vampires break through the windows and attack the hundreds of assembled teens. Pike presents Buffy with a bag of stakes he prepared, and she goes on a slaying spree. Benny and Pike fight in the dance, Benny offering to change his buddy into a vampire, but Pike refuses and slays him. Buffy encounters Amilyn in a stairwell, staking him in front of Lothos, who is unmoved by his minion’s death (or melodramatic death scene). Their battle spreads back to the gym, and Buffy stakes Lothos in full view of the school. Together, Buffy and Pike ride his motorcycle into the sunrise, leaving the town to wonder what the hell just happened.

Thoughts: Joss Whedon is, today, a god among geeks, creator of such cult favorites as Firefly and Dollhouse, director of the biggest superhero movie of all time in The Avengers, and pioneer of original online content with Doctor Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog. (Not to mention is more recent film Cabin in the Woods, a great entry into the horror canon, my analysis of which is available exclusively in the eBook edition of Reel to Reel: Mutants, Monsters and Madmen.) His star began to rise in earnest in 1997, when his Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV show became a hit for the fledgling CW network. That show largely ignored the film that birthed the character, though. Released in 1992, Whedon was never happy with the way director Fran Rubel Kuzui treated his script, playing it as a much broader comedy than he intended. And in truth, anybody who watches more than a few minutes of the TV show will agree that the film pales in comparison. That said, though, looking back 20 years later, there is a bit of cheesy charm in this original version of the Slayer.

Whedon’s initial concept was to take the typical horror movie victim – the teenage girl – and turn her into the hero. It’s a great, simple idea, but the final film goes a bit too far in playing up the stereotypes. Buffy and her friends (including future Oscar winner Hilary Swank) are vapid to the point of obnoxiousness. That may well be the intent, but once they start jabbering about choosing “litter” as the theme for a socially-conscious school dance, you kinda want to see them all die. The only thing more irritating is the basketball coach shouting to his team to “actualize” as though it’s a defensive strategy. Pretty much all of the humor is too broad for the characters, in fact. The only really goofy moment that works is when you realize the vampires have, in fact, been invited to the dance and thus can enter. Of course they were invited. They’re seniors.

Much of the violence and action isn’t quite believable either. An early scene where Buffy chops up a hot dog Benny is using to taunt her is supposed to be an early indicator that she’s got power, but instead just seems like the director used poor editing to cover a joke that had no punch. A few minutes later, when Merrick throws a knife at her and Buffy catches it, it’s even worse. The image is so stilted I’m inclined to believe Swanson was actually filmed throwing the knife away and Kuzui played it in reverse.

For all its faults, there are some good moments in the film. Some of Buffy’s dreams are a bit silly, but others are played for straight horror. There’s a nice one, for example, where she’s going to bed and the viewer doesn’t quite realize she’s already asleep when she lies down, Lothos beside her. For a moment you think she’s just oblivious to her enemy (even though it’s already been made clear a vampire cannot enter a person’s home without an invitation), but when he gives her a teddy bear and she curls up on him it’s downright unnerving. You feel a little relief, moments later, when she wakes up. Placing one of the fight scenes in the parade float storage yard is another nice touch – the oversized figures and statuary make for a suitably eerie backdrop for a fight. It’s kind of sad this is the last thing Kuzui directed, she actually has an okay eye for horror that would have worked well in the darker-toned Buffy TV show (where she served as an executive producer). That less broad version of the character may not have been too bad in her hands.

Buffy would later become a great character in the hands of Sarah Michelle Gellar, but the embryonic form still has a bit of steel in her. Swanson’s Buffy is never quite as vapid as her friends, and begins to grow rather quickly. She isn’t the girl power icon she would later become, though. I still keep going back and forth on an element of the character that was disposed of entirely when she transitioned to television – the use of menstrual cramps as an early warning that vampires are nearby. Somebody out there help me – is it empowering to use a nuisance that is unique to women as a weapon in the fight against evil, or is it patronizing to base Buffy’s Spider-Sense surrogate on a natural process that is so often played as a negative stereotype? I feel somehow that the answer to that question would go a long way towards explaining if it’s okay to like this movie or not, but having a Y chromosome (as I do), I don’t think I’m actually qualified to answer it.

Paul Reubens is a really bizarre casting choice. At this point in his career he was already known primarily as Pee-Wee Herman, a role that he put away after an embarrassing public incident the year before. (Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about.) Doing Buffy felt like an effort to rejuvenate his career, and although it didn’t really succeed, it wasn’t for lack of trying. His Amilyn works well as a sort of Renfield, the second banana to the main vampire, with just enough of an edge to feel like a credible threat. The only time he gets silly or plays up his traits as a physical comedian is during his extremely protracted death scene. (That scene, by the way, isn’t a bad joke, but it’s a joke that goes on entirely too long.) He, at least, is memorable, though. Rutger Hauer’s Lothos… not so much. It’s not that he’s bad, he’s just dull compared to all of the other great vampire performances out there.

It’s an early 90s film, but it actually carries with it a lot of the tropes of the 80s teen sports movie: the character who doesn’t want to play the game, a training montage in which she unlocks her natural talent, and a Big Game at the end for all the glory. There’s even the requisite clueless authority figure (a very funny turn by Stephen Root) who both hassles Buffy for the change in her behavior and tries to be her pal, sharing far too much information with her than anybody is really comfortable with. There’s also a fun little game of “spot the future celebrity” worth playing. Hilary Swank has a sizable role, but you can also catch Ben Affleck as an opposing basketball player, Thomas Jane as a punk teenager, and Ricki Lake and Seth Green (who would go on to have a regular role on the Buffy TV show) as vampires.

For all the crap it gets, the movie isn’t really all that bad. It’s competently made, and none of the performances are horrible. The plot works, but the tone is off. This never would have made any credible “worst of all time” list, it would simply have been forgotten, one of hundreds of movies made every year that are completely off the cultural radar short months later. We remember it, though, if for no other reason than because it gave us one of the greatest horror heroines of all time.

Don’t forget, Lunatics and Laughter is the second Reel to Reel movie study. The first, Mutants, Monsters and Madmen, is now available as a $2.99 eBook in the Amazon Kindle store and Smashwords.com bookstore. And you can find links to all of my novels, collections, and short stories, in their assorted print, eBook and audio forms, at the Now Available page!

And while the 20 films for the first phase of Lunatics and Laughter have been selected, I’m still taking suggestions for next year’s expanded eBook edition. I’m especially looking for good horror/comedies from before 1980, so if you’ve got any ideas, please share them in the comments section.

Story Structure Day 4: Dracula (1931)

Director: Tod Browning
Writer: Hamilton Dean & John L. Balderston, based on the play by Garrett Fort, based in turn on the novel by Bram Stoker
Cast: Bela Lugosi, Helen Chandler, David Manners, Dwight Frye, Edward Van Solan & Francis Dade

Plot: The mysterious Count Dracula and his unwitting slave, Renfield, travel to England. When the ship is arrived, the entire crew and passenger manifest is dead, save for Renfield, who has gone mad. Dracula takes up residence in an abbey near Renfield’s sanitarium, and mysterious sightings and deaths occur, spurring the noted professor Van Helsing to confront the Count, and expose him for what he truly is – a vampire.

Thoughts: I’ve been waiting for this one. The Bela Lugosi version of Dracula, more than any other film or piece of pop culture, is what has helped to inform our current perception of the vampire. (Because the things in Twilight are not vampires, damn you Stephenie Meyer.) A lot of people don’t even realize how many of our current tropes come from this film or its sequels or imitators – the explicit connection of the vampire to bats, for example (where in the past – and even in this film – vampires could transform into bats, wolves, mist, and other things), or their aversion to sunlight. As important as those things are to current vampire lore, they didn’t come from the classic lore. (Which raises the question – if the Universal pictures depiction of the vampire hadn’t made him allergic to sunlight, would Meyer still have felt the urge to make Edward Cullen sparkle as an aversion to that trope? Hmm. Okay, I think I need to stop talking about Twilight now.)

Lugosi pops in with his tuxedo, his cape, his pendant, and those convenient beams of light that always seem to fall across his eyes and he absolutely owns the room, mesmerizing whoever’s on screen with him and whoever happens to be watching him. He may not be overtly sexual in the way that writers have tried to make vampires since the rise of Anne Rice, but he’s clearly seductive in a way that defies explanation. Even without the supernatural powers of the vampire, Lugosi’s presence would command anybody.

Other classic horror character tropes appear to be in their infancy here as well. Renfield, once Dracula has possessed him, is extremely effective. Dwight Frye has a madness in his eyes that spreads throughout his entire face. As he smiles and peers up the staircase of the ship at the camera, you find yourself absolutely chilled to the bone – he’s a madman, and he’s coming after you next. The Renfields of this world may come second to the Igors as the horror movie second bananas, but when played right, I’d be more scared of a Renfield any day. The atmosphere of the film is powerful as well – the scenery is fantastic, and the scenery is the stuff of every classic haunted house.

As masterful as Lugosi and Frye’s performances are, however, some of the other elements of this 80-year-old film just don’t hold up as well. Granted, you’ve got to make allowances for the special effects limitations of the time, but the scene towards the beginning where Renfield leans out of his carriage to see a bat flying in front just yanks a modern audience out entirely – it looks as though someone is dangling a rubber bat from a fishing pole, which probably isn’t that far from the truth.

You can’t blame age on stale performances, though, and Lugosi and Frye are really the only memorable actors in the film. The women are mannequins, and Edward Van Solan’s Van Helsing is forgettable at best. David Manners as Jonathan Harker is just plain bland, vanilla, and utterly unexciting.

The climax of the film, however, is what really hurts it. After so much tension and so much buildup, the ending just doesn’t excite. Van Helsing simply marches into Dracula’s lair and stakes him – off-camera at that. Again, I’m trying to make allowances for the time period. There wasn’t going to be any gory close-ups or a fountain of blood (like in the painfully weak Mel Brooks comedy, Dracula: Dead and Loving It), but at the same time, I can’t help thinking there could have been more. In truth, I think it speaks to how the still-evolving language of film hadn’t really been solidified yet. The film is based on the stage play based (legally, unlike Nosferatu) on Bram Stoker’s novel, and in 1931 they were still filming movies as if they were stage plays. I actually worked backstage on a production of this play several years ago, and I know how effective the final scene can be when done properly, but film is an entirely different medium with different demands.

The same goes for the novel – in the book, a great deal of the tension and fear is internal. It’s a lot harder to do that in a movie. You need to give the audience something to look at, something to see and fear. This is one of the reasons I’m not a purist when it comes to film adaptations. Sometimes, what works great on the printed page just doesn’t work on film. This is a case where the screenwriters should have found a more dramatic way to stage that final moment between Van Helsing and Dracula, some way to get the audience more engaged, than just waltzing in and driving in the stake.

I look back at these comments and I start to feel a little worried about myself. This film is a classic of the genre, isn’t it? I sure as hell haven’t endured for 80 years, do I really have the right dismiss something that millions have found frightening? Worst of all, what if I’m falling victim to the same mindset that I so often accuse my high school English students of having? What if I’m unable to divorce myself from my modern mindset and appreciate the film for what it was when it was created?

A terrifying thought.

But then I look at the next film on my list, a film released in the same year as Dracula, and one that I do consider a masterpiece of cinema. And I think, “Maybe Dracula simply doesn’t hold up the way Frankenstein does.”

Blake M. Petit is the author of the superhero comedy novel, Other People’s Heroes, the suspense novel The Beginner and the Christmas-themed eBook A Long November. He’s also the co-host, with whoever the hell is available that week, of the 2 in 1 Showcase Podcast. E-mail him at BlakeMPetit@gmail.com.

Story Structure Day 2: Nosferatu-A Symphony of Horror (1922)

Director: F.W. Murnau
Writer: Henrik Galeen
Cast: Max Schreck, Gustav Van Wangenheim, Greta Schröder, Alexander Granach, Georg H. Schnell

Plot: A wizened old man seeks a new home and becomes obsessed with the wife of his real estate agent. As it turns out, the mysterious Count Orlok has a much darker agenda than finding a castle to call his own. This unauthorized adaptation of Bram Stoker’s Dracula is rightly considered a classic.

Thoughts: You don’t often see a movie that resulted in the bankruptcy of a studio considered one of the greats (except, of course, Cutthroat Island), but here ya go. The estate of Bram Stoker refused to allow permission for F.W. Murnau to adapt Dracula in a movie, but showing the kind of spunk and sass that have made the Germans so beloved throughout history, Murnau just changed the names, abandoned some subplots, and made it anyway. Stoker’s estate sued, Prana Film went out of business, and an attempt was made to destroy all copies of the movie. Fortunately for us, that attempt failed, and the movie is now in public domain.

This film, a silent movie of course, is incredibly successful at creeping you the hell out, and a lot of the credit for that has to go to Max Schreck as Count Orlok. Although he doesn’t really fit into what we not think of as a classical interpretation of Dracula (although the “classic” Dracula is really Bela Lugosi’s interpretation), he’s become an archetypical monster in his own right. Orlok’s body is incredibly slender, almost unnaturally so – his limbs, his torso, his head all look like they’ve been stretched out. The  extremities, on the other hand, are all pointed and sharp – his fingers, his nose, his chin, his ears. Add that to his sunken eyes and you can see monsters from throughout the 20^th century. The long body stirs up images of H.R. Giger’s Alien, the pseudo-zombies from the 2007 I Am Legend, any manner of creeps and crawlies, all the way up to the new Slender Man urban legend. In the introduction to this little project, I talked about the unknown being one of the pervading human fears. I didn’t mention one that may be even a little stronger – the manipulation of what is known. Orlok’s body is supposed to be human, but the little tweaks and alterations that define the character make him something even worse than what we don’t know: it makes him into what we should know, but don’t.

Think of it this way. We turn on the news, we hear terrible stories about things done to children by some nutjob or psychopath. I don’t feel the need to elaborate here, you guys know as well as I do what some human-shaped monsters are capable of. We hear these stories, and we think it’s terrible. But how much worse is it if the monster isn’t some random stranger, but someone the victim knows, someone they thought was a friend, maybe even a member of their own family?

It’s an extreme example, but the same principle that makes Orlok so creepy. Fortunately, trapped as he is on the movie screen, it’s a hell of a lot safer than the psycho on the news.

Anyway, on to a bit lighter fare. I haven’t included many silent films in this project (just one more after this one), but this movie really illustrates the need for a good print of these films. Nosferatu, of course, is in public domain now, which allows anybody to do whatever they want with it. In some ways, that’s a good thing – look at the 2000 film Shadow of the Vampire, about the making of Nosferatu, in which Willem DaFoe plays Max Schreck as a real vampire. It’s a great piece of work that couldn’t have been made were it not for public domain laws. (Which is funny, when you think about how Nosferatu was made in the first place, but there ya go.) The problem is, this allows people to put out really bad versions of the film. This was one case where I didn’t think I would need to turn to NetFlix for my hit, as I already happened to have a DVD set of many, many vampire films, Nosferatu included. As I started the movie, I realized that this version had actually changed all the title cards, replacing the names of Orlok and company with the original names from the Dracula novel. I realize, logically, that this shouldn’t have impacted my enjoyment of the movie, but I had a gut-level reaction that rejected the entire thing as wrong and bad and evil!

I turn into a purist at incredibly strange times.

So I did turn to NetFlix, where I found Nosferatu: The Original Version, which did in fact have all the classic names right where they belonged. This was much more acceptable… but in a few minutes, I found a flaw with this version as well. The music. Dear lord, the music. Old silent films we watch today don’t have any soundtrack except the one tagged on by whoever releases the DVD, and whoever put out the “original Version” of Nosferatu included one god awful super-synthesized soundtrack that went from happy, chirpy music at the beginning to a better (but weak) score towards the end. You’ve got to have the right music for these silent movies to make them come across properly. NetFlix also has a listing for Nosferatu: The Gothic Industrial Mix which, frankly, is a prospect I find horrifying.

While I can appreciate the artistry of these old silent films, I do have to admit, it’s hard to connect with them. I’m used to a completely different kind of filmmaking, and although there’s a definite style to telling a story I this way, it’s not my style. Only one more film from the silent era, and then we’ll move on to the talkies. Come back tomorrow for 1925’s Phantom of the Opera.

Blake M. Petit is the author of the superhero comedy novel, Other People’s Heroes, the suspense novel The Beginner and the Christmas-themed eBook A Long November. He’s also the co-host, with whoever the hell is available that week, of the 2 in 1 Showcase Podcast. E-mail him at BlakeMPetit@gmail.com.

What I write: the important horror films

When I’m not working on fiction, I find that some of my favorite things to write are… well… analysis of other fiction. I think it’s part of the same section of my brain that works as an English teacher. I like to take stories, pick them apart, and examine which parts of them work, and don’t work, and why. True literary criticism isn’t quite the art form that it once was, of course. I’m not talking just about simple reviews, I mean a real, scholarly examination that breaks things apart and examines them, warts and all. I find I enjoy all of that.

So lately, I’ve been trying to think of ways to do that in a more organized fashion than the occasional blog post here and more in-depth than a simple review allows. And I think I’ve got a way. But to begin this project, I need to make a list.

I think I have a way to examine stories that I’ll enjoy doing, and that may even be interesting for you fine folks to read. And I’m going to start with horror movies. What I’m going to do is make myself a list of some of the most influential and/or important horror films of all time. Then I shall watch them and write about them. So I’d like you guys to help me decide, what are some “important” horror films? Which ones created great characters, are the first works of great writers or directors, or changed the way we think about horror? For the purposes of this, I’m only looking at theatrical films — no TV movies or miniseries — and while I’m not automatically disqualifying sequels, it better be damn important to crack the list. And remakes? Not gonna be easy to convince me, but go for it.

Here’s what I’ve got so far, in chronological order:

1. Nosferatu (1922-Perhaps the first vampire film)
2. Dracula (1931-First Universal monster)
3. Frankenstein (1931-Perhaps the best-known Universal monster)
4. Peeping Tom (1960-Considered by some to be the first slasher film)
5. Psycho (1960-Hitchcock’s masterpiece)
6. The Haunting (1963-Considered by some to be the greatest haunted house movie of all time)
7. Night of the Living Dead (1968-Defined how we see zombies today)
8. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974-Shaped the mad killer/slasher subgenre)
9. Carrie (1976-First film adaptation of the work of Stephen King. Also his first novel, but that’s a different list.)
10. Halloween (1978-Shaped horror films of the 80s)
11. Alien (1979-Perfect synthesis of science fiction and horror)
12. Friday the 13th (1980-Created a horror icon)
13. The Thing (1982-The only remake on my list, because of its status as a locked-room mystery/monster movie, and the original is largely forgotten)
14. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984-Created a horror icon)
15. Scream (1996-Redefined horror films)
16. Saw (2004-Shaped horror films of the 21st century)

So that’s all I’ve got so far. A measly 16 films! I want at least twice as many, folks, so I’m turning to you for help.What am I leaving out?

This list is, by virtue of being my list, somewhat prejudiced towards American films. I’ll certainly consider foreign films, if you can convince me one belongs on the list. And of course, a film’s inclusion in this project depends largely on my ability to find a copy on Netflix. And remember, it’s not just enough to tell me the name of a movie. Convince me. What makes it important? So hit me, guys. What movies do you believe deserve a place in this experiment?

Time for a new X-Men #1

Someone at Marvel apparently checked the calendar and realized it’s been a while since we had an X-Men #1, so we’re kicking off the new Curse of the Mutants storyline with an all-new ongoing series. (Okay, technically the story kicked off in last week’s Death of Dracula #1, but why split hairs?)

Writer Victor Gishler and Paco Medina pick up on the X-Men in San Francisco, a city where they seem to have finally found some acceptance. Their peace is shattered, though, when a terrorist sets off a suicide bomb in the middle of the city. Thing is, this isn’t an ordinary suicide bomber. It’s a vampire, and what he’s carrying around is a lot nastier than any shrapnel.

I decided to give this series a try mainly on the work of writer Victor Gishler, who’s been doing some fine work on Deadpool lately. So far, his X-Men isn’t half bad. The characters all feel like themselves, and he’s succeeded (between this book and the aforementioned Dracula one-shot) in making me believe in the Vampires as a legitimate threat to the Marvel Universe. He also manages to pull off a truly frightening situation for a former X-Man that may just turn her into a danger to the entire world.

I’m a little surprised that the book got away with Marvel’s T+ rating (the comic book equivalent of a PG-13). There’s some real gore in here, both in the bombing itself and when Wolverine encounters the vampires. The last few pages really show us how heavy the stakes are for the X-Men in particular and for the world as a whole.

All things considered, this book is surprisingly low-key. It’s the beginning of a big crossover event and the first issue of a new X-Men ongoing. It’s a good issue, but it goes pretty far outside of the usual X-Men wheelhouse. On the other hand, this is supposed to be the title that shows the X-Men reacting to the rest of the Marvel universe, so that may be just the thing.

It’s interesting that this is the third book to carry an X-Men #1 label without either of the other two being cancelled… they’ve just been renamed (to Uncanny X-Men and X-Men: Legacy, respectively). As the beginning of a new era for the characters, it may just work.

I’ve been reviewing the hell out of comics over at Comixtreme.com lately, including two more Brightest Day reviews. Rather than repeat myself here, I thought I’d just link to those over there…

• Brightest Day #5
• Brightest Day: The Atom Special #1

And here are some other reviews of mine that have hit in the last week or two…

• Action Comics #890
• Atomic Robo Vol. 4 #1
• Avengers: The Children’s Crusade #1
• Fantastic Four Annual #32
• I, Zombie #3
• The Muppet Show #7
• Red Robin #14
• Young Allies #2
• Done-In-One Reviews for July 6, 2010, in which I review Batman: The Brave and the Bold #18, Betty and Veronica Double Digest #182, Deadpool Team-Up #892, Justice Society of America #40, Teen Titans #84, Toy Story #4 and The Web #10.

What I’m Reading: 2010 Edition

Like I did last year, I’m going to keep a running tally of my reading list this year. This includes both prose books, graphic novels, short stories (if I read them independently of an entire book, that is), and audiobooks that I listen to. If you’re interested in that sort of thing, I’ll place a link to this post on the righthand “Blakestuff” column, and periodically update this page with new material. Also, if I happen to review the book either here, for the Amazon Vine program, at Comixtreme.com, or otherwise, I’ll make the title a link. Because I know you would want it that way.

1. Desperate Times by Chris Eliopoulos (2009), B-*
2. Under the Dome by Stephen King (2009), A-
3. Little Adventures in Oz Vol. 1 by Eric Shanower (2010), A-*
4. Replay by Ken Grimwood (1987), B+
5. I Am Legend by Richard Matheson (1954), A+
6. The Rocketeer: The Complete Adventures by Dave Stevens (2009), A*
7. 7th Son: Descent by J.C. Hutchins (2009), A- @
8. The Eyes of the Dragon by Stephen King (1987), A
9. Star Comics All-Star Collection Vol. 1 (2009), B-*
10. “The Call of Cthulhu” by H.P. Lovecraft (1928), B
11. The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold (2002), A-
12. The Forest of Hands and Teeth by Carrie Ryan (2009), B+
13. Little Brother by Cory Doctorow (2008), B+
14. The Magic Book of Oz by Scott Dickerson (2009), B+
15. More Blood, More Sweat, and Another Cup of Tea by Tom Reynolds (2009), A-
16. PVP Vol. 6: Silent But Deadly by Scott Kurtz (2009), B-*
17. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll (1865), A-
18. Foundation by Isaac Asimov (1951), A
19. The Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum (1900), A
20. The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan (2001), B
21. Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom by Cory Doctorow (2003), B
22. “The Devil and Tom Walker” by Washington Irving (1824), A
23. Showgirls, Teen Wolves, and Astro Zombies by Michael Adams (2010), A
24. Street Gang: The Complete History of Sesame Street by Michael Davis (2008), A
25. Doom Patrol: Crawling From the Wreckage by Grant Morrison (1990), B*
26. Doom Patrol: The Painting that Ate Paris by Grant Morrison (1990), B+*
27. The Lost Books of the Odyssey by Zachary Mason (2008), A-
28. “The Minister’s Black Veil” by Nathaniel Hawthorne (1836), B+
29. “The Story of an Hour” by Kate Chopin (1894), B-
30. Scott Pilgrim’s Precious Little Life by Bryan Lee O’Malley (2004), B-*
31. “An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge” by Ambrose Bierce (1890), A
32. The Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare (1595-ish), B
33. “The Notorious Jumping Frog of Calaveras County” by Mark Twain (1865), A
34. Lost Ate My Life by Jon Lachonis & Amy J. Johnston (2008), B-
35. All the Great Books (Abridged) by Reed Martin & Austin Tichenor (2005-Stage Play), A-
36. I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell by Tucker Max (2006), B
37. Reduced Shakespeare by Reed Martin & Austin Tichenor (2006), B+
38. The Zombie Wilson Diaries by Timothy W. Long (2009), B
39. Lurline and the White Ravens of Oz by Marcus Mebes (2008), B-
40. 90 Minutes in Heaven by Don Piper (2004), B
41. “Winter Dreams” by F. Scott Fitzgerald (1922), B
42. Blockade Billy by Stephen King (2010), B+
43. Honor Brigade by Tom Stillwell & Bradley Bowers (2009), A-
44. Age of Bronze: A Thousand Ships by Eric Shanower (2001), A*
45. Marvel Zombies 4 by Fred Van Lente (2010), B*
46. The Toxic Avenger and Other Tromatic Tales edited by Tim Seeley (2007), B-*
47. Iron Man and Philosophy: Facing the Stark Reality edited by Mark D. White (2010), B
48. Sheldon: Living Dangerously With Saturated Fats by Dave Kellett (2009), A-
49. “The Far and the Near” by Thomas Wolfe (1935), B-
50. “In Another Country” by Ernest Hemingway (1927), B-
51. “The Corn Planting” by Sherwood Anderson (1921), B
52. “A Rose For Emily” by William Faulkner (1930), A
53. The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde (1895-Stage Play), B
54. Heaven Book V: War by Mur Lafferty (2008), B@
55. “The Life You Save May Be Your Own” by Flannery O’Conner (1955), B+
56. Kissyman and the Gentleman by Scott Sigler (2010), B-@
57. Carrie by Stephen King (1974), B
58. Unbeatable: Hotter Than Hell (2010) by Matthias Wolf, A-
59. DC’s Greatest Imaginary Stories Vol. 2: Batman and Robin (2010), edited by Bob Joy, B-*
60. I’ll Mature When I’m Dead (2010) by Dave Barry, B
61. Wertham Was Right (2003) by Mark Evanier, A-
62. Little Adventures in Oz Vol. 2 (2010) by Eric Shanower, B+*
63. Age of Bronze Vol. 2: Sacrifice (2004) by Eric Shanower, B*
64. Fantastic Four Visionaries: John Byrne (2004) by John Byrne, A*
65. The Crypt Book One: The Crew (2010) by Scott Sigler & Various, B+@
66. Vampire Brat (2001) by Batton Lash, B+*
67. Haunt Vol. 1 (2010) by Robert Kirkman & Todd McFarlane, B+*
68. Ancestor (2010) by Scott Sigler, A
69. The Customer is Not Always Right (2009) by A.J. Adams, B
70. Atomic Robo Vol. 1: Atomic Robo and the Fightin’ Scientists of Tesladyne (2007) by Brian Clevinger and Scott Wegener, A*
71. Starman Omnibus Vol. 4 (2010), by James Robinson, A*
72. Hater (2006) by David Moody, B+
73. “Everything and Nothing” (2010) by David Moody, B
74. Penny Arcade Vol. 6 (2010) by Jerry Holkins & Mike Krahulik, B+
75. And Another Thing… (2009) by Eoin Colfer, B-
76. Dog Blood (2010) by David Moody, B
77. The Marvelous Land of Oz (1904) by L. Frank Baum , B+*
78. Sheldon: Still Got It (2009) by Dave Kellett, A*
79. Literature: Unsuccessfully Competing Against Television Since 1953 (2010) by Dave Kellett, A*
80. Drive: A Hero Rises (2010) by Dave Kellett, B*
81. Beneath (2010) by Jeremy Robinson, B-
82. Dr. Horrible and Other Horrible Stories (2010) by Zack Whedon, A*
83. Night of the Living Trekkies (2010) by Kevin David Anderson & Sam Stall B+
84. The Nearly Complete Essential Hembeck Archives Omnibus (2010) by Fred Hembeck, B+*
85. “The Fall of the House of Usher” (1839) by Edgar Allan Poe, A
86. Curse of the Were-Woman (2009) by Jason M. Burns, B*
87. A Teacher’s Night Before Halloween (2008) by Steven Layne, B
88. Ghostopolis (2010) by Doug TenNapel, A*
89. Superman: Earth One (2010) by J. Michael Straczynski, A*
90. Sum: Forty Tales From the Afterlives (2009) by David Eagleman, A
91. Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (2010 Graphic Novel), B*
92. The Lost Hero (2010) by Rick Riordan, B
93. Stupid Christmas (2010) by Leland Gregory, B-
94. Stories Behind the Best-Loved Songs of Christmas (2001) by Ace Collins, B+
95. Full Dark, No Stars (2010) by Stephen King, A-
96. The Case For Christmas: A Journalist Investigates the Identity of the Child in the Manger (1998) by Lee Strobel, B
97. Amelia Rules: A Very Ninja Christmas (2009) by Jimmy Gownley, A*
98. The Curious World of Christmas (2007) by Niall Edworthy, C+
99. The Great Treasury of Christmas Comic Book Stories (2010), edited by Craig Yoe, B*
100. Top Cow Holiday Special 2010 by Phil Smith & Paul Dini, B*
101. Graphic Classics Vol. 19: Christmas Classics (2010), B+*
102. The Truth About Santa (2009) by Gregory Mone, B
103. The Starter by Scott Sigler (2010), B+

*-Denotes Graphic Novel or Comic Strip collection
@-Denotes audiobook
“”-Denotes Short Story

Last Updated on January 1, 2010

What I’m Watching: 2010 Edition

Like I did last year, this year I’m going to keep a running tally of the movies I see. If you’re interested in that sort of thing, I’m going to place the permanent link to this post in the “Blakestuff” category running down the right side of the page. I’ll update this every so often, and whenever I happen to review one of the movies (either here, at Comixtreme.com, or even on the Showcase podcast), I’ll make the title a link. I am, in fact, a man of the people.

1. Star Trek (2009), A
2. The Gamers: Dorkness Rising (2008), B+
3. Superman/Batman: Public Enemies (2009), B+
4. The Man With the Screaming Brain (2005), C
5. Re-Animator (1985), B-
6. Soylent Green (1973), A-
7. Igor (2008), B-
8. Dug’s Special Mission (2009), A*
9. Partly Cloudy (2009), A*
10. 1408 (2007), B
11. Pigeon: Impossible (2009), B+*
12. Vegas Vacation (1997), C
13. Cat People (1982), C
14. Psycho Beach Party (2000), B
15. Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (1988), D
16. Planet Hulk (2010), B+
17. A Charlie Brown Valentine (2002), B*
18. The Wolfman (2010), B+
19. Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (2010), B
20. Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths (2010), A-
21. The Hangover (2009), B+
22. Surrogates (2009), B
23. Silver Bullet (1985), D
24. Paranormal Activity (2007)
25. Ringers: Lord of the Fans (2005)
26. Ink (2009), B+
27. Darby O’Gill and the Little People (1959), B
28. The Hobbit (1977), B
29. The Lord of the Rings (1978), C+
30. The Return of the King (1980), B-
31. Clash of the Titans (1981), B
32. Clash of the Titans (2010), D
33. Iron Man (2008), A
34. Office Space (1998), B+
35. Meet the Robinsons (2007), B+
36. I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell (2009), B+
37. Hancock (2008), B+
38. Fritz the Cat (1972), C-
39. The Losers (2010), B-
40. Kick-Ass (2010), B+
41. A Midsummer Night’s Dream (1968), C+
42. Bedknobs and Broomsticks (1971), A
43. Midnight Meat Train (2008), B+
44. Plan 9 From Outer Space (1958), F
45. The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (2009), B+
46. The Muppets’ Wizard of Oz (2005), B-
47. Iron Man 2 (2010), A-
48. The Grapes of Wrath (1940), A
49. Cloak and Dagger (1984), C+
50. The Odyssey (1997), B+
51. O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000), A-
52. The Pixar Story (2007), A
53. Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (2010), C+
54. Richard III (1995), B-
55. Miss March (2009), D
56. Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991), B+
57. A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010), D
58. Toy Story (1995), A
59. Toy Story 2 (1999), A
60. Red Dawn (1984), B+
61. Day and Night (2010), B*
62. Toy Story 3 (2010), A+
63. Muppets From Space (1999), B-
64. Jonah Hex (2010), D
65. Monsters, Inc. (2001), A
66. Zardoz (1974), C
67. The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (2008), B-
68. Predators (2010), B
69. Laserblast (1978), F (MST3K riff), B
70. Better Than Chocolate (1999), C
71. Alice in Wonderland (2010), C+
72. Inception (2010), A
73. DC Showcase: Jonah Hex (2010), B*
74. Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010), B
75. The Beginning of the End (1957), F (MST3K Riff-B+)
76. Sold Out: A Threevening With Kevin Smith (2008), B
77. Let the Right One In (2008), B+
78. Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966), F (MST3K Riff-A)
79. I Accuse My Parents (1944), F (MST3K Riff-B)
80. Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World (2010), C
81. The 40-Year-Old Virgin (2005), B
82. A Wink and a Smile (2008), B
83. Fame (2009), B-
84. Water Lillies (2007), B
85. Jennifer’s Body (2009), B
86. Sex Drive (2008), B+
87. Dead and Gone (2007), D
88. Dead Snow (2009), A-
89. Vampire Killers (2009), B+
90. Netherbeast, Incorporated (2007), B
91. The Zombie Diaries (2006), C
92. Survival of the Dead (2010), B
93. I Sell the Dead (2008), B+
94. Saw VI (2009), B-
95. Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007), A
96. The Wolfman (1941), B+
97. Frankenstein Meets the Wolfman (1943), B
98. Werewolf of London (1935), D
99. She-Wolf of London (1946), D
100. Due Date (2010), B
101. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 (2010), B+
102. Tangled (2010), B
103. Tron (1982), B
104. A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965), A+*
105. Prep and Landing: Operation Secret Santa (2010), B+*
106. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964), F; MST3K Riff, B+
107. The Adventures of Huck Finn (1992), B
108. Tom and Huck (1993), B
109. Miracle on 34th Street (1947), A+
110. Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town (1970), B-*
111. The Year Without a Santa Claus (1974), B+*
112. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964), A*
113. Frosty the Snowman (1969), A-*
114. Tron: Legacy (2010), B+
115. Gremlins (1984), A
116. Santa Claus (1959), F; MST3K Riff, B
117. A Muppet Family Christmas (1987), B*
118. The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992), A
119. It’s a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie (2002), B-
120. A Muppets Christmas: Letters to Santa (2008), B*
121. Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny (1972), F because I can’t give Qs; RiffTrax Riff, B
122. The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993), A
123. The Polar Express (2004), B-
124. Love, Actually (2003), A
125. A Christmas Story (1982), A
126. Funny Games (2008), B
127. Christmas Eve on Sesame Street (1978), B+*
128. Destino (2003), A-*
129. Secret Origin: The Story of DC Comics (2010), B
130. Superman/Batman: Apocalypse (2010), B-
131. Waking Sleeping Beauty (2010), B
132. Despicable Me (2010), B+
133. The Crazies (2010), B-

*-Denotes Short Film

Last Updated on January 1, 2010.

What I read/Watched in 2009…

Traditionally, in the past, I would start each year with a list of the books I read and movies I watched in the previous year. This year, however, I decided to keep a running list which I would update periodically. So if you want to see the full lists, they’re waiting for you:

• What I Read in 2009
• What I Watched in 2009

Rather than list everything again, today I thought I’d give you just a short list of my favorites. In my opinion, out of the books I read and movies I watched, here were my favorites of the year in no particular order:

Books:

• The Last Olympian by Rick Riordan
• Was Superman a Spy? by Brian Cronin
• Final Crisis: Legion of 3 Worlds by Geoff Johns & George Perez
• The Strain by Guillermo Del Toro & Chuck Hogan
• Drood by Dan Simmons
• Batman: Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader by Neil Gaiman & Andy Kubert
• Peter and Max: A Fables Novel by Bill Willingham
• 7th Son: Descent by J.C. Hutchins
• The Rookie (YA edition) by Scott Sigler
• Living Dangerously With Saturated Fats (A SHELDON collection) by Dave Kellett
• Mini-Marvels: The Ultimate Collection by Chris Giarrusso and others

Movies:

• Coraline
• Star Trek
• Up
• The Hangover
• Green Lantern: First Flight
• Inglorious Basterds
• Zombieland
• The Princess and the Frog
• Monsters vs. Aliens

I’ll start the 2010 list relatively soon — I’ll wait until I’ve got a few books and movies logged so I’m not starting with a blank post. Have a great 2010, everyone!

Halloween Party: Nice Girls Don’t Date Dead Men

A few months back I reviewed a new book that had caught my attention, Molly Harper‘s debut novel Nice Girls Don’t Have Fangs. In that novel we were introduced to Jane Jameson, an ex-librarian who was shot by a drunken hunter, found by a vampire, and turned into the undead to save her… um… life. Now these days, there’s a buttload of vampire “romances” in the marketplace, but Harper’s book had something very unique going for it — unlike any of those other vampire novels you can name, this book was funny. Really funny.

In the sequel, Jane’s best friend Zeb is engaged to a werewolf, a fact that is of particular upset to his mother, who has always harbored a belief that Zeb and Jane would wind up together. Jane’s boyfriend/sire, Gabriel, has a tendency to rush off to parts unknown for “business,” and her grandmother the serial monogamist has brought a date to her latest fiance’s funeral. Harper pulls in a slew of disconnected storylines that all seem to revolve around Jane and her group of friends, and despite the fact that most of these assorted stories don’t actually connect with one another, the book still has a nice, cohesive feeling to it. Even more so than the first one, though, it feels incomplete. There are a lot of storylines left dangling — Jane’s estrangement from her family, whatever is taking up Gabriel’s time, the fate of the occult bookstore where Jane now works, and several others. I guess it’s safe to leave some plots hanging when the next book in the series is scheduled for a January release, but it’s still a bit disquieting.

When I reviewed the first book, one of my few complaints was that Gabriel was a bit of  nonentity as a character. This time around he’s still kind of underdeveloped, but it’s getting better. The mysterious routine actually ties into the plot this time around, and seems to be feeding into the third volume as well, so I’m feeling a bit more forgiving. The big plus to this book is Harper’s character development. Zeb and Jolene, Dick and Andrea, all get much more facetime in this book, and we learn much more about them. The vampire and werewolf cultures of Harper’s world are explored much more, and the confrontations with Mama Ginger and Wilbur near the end of the book work well for a middle chapter, as this seems to be.

If you’re passing on these books because you’re sick of angsty vampire romances, rethink it. The tales of Jane Jameson really don’t fall into that category at all. Instead, we get something clever, something enjoyable, and something fun.