2 in 1 Showcase Episode #269: The Ultimate Top Ten Avengers

It’s time for another Showcase top ten! This week, Mike, Kenny and Blake count down their top ten favorite Avengers, then tabulate the votes sent in by you, the listeners, to construct the Ultimate Top Ten Avengers! We also chat briefly about Marvel Now! and the upcoming changes to the Avengers family. In the picks, Mike digs Batman #10, Kenny’s been playing Red Dead Redemption: Undead Nightmare, and Blake chooses Monkeybrain’s new title Edison Rex. Contact us with comments, suggestions, or anything else at Showcase@CXPulp.com!

Music provided by Music Alley from Mevio.

Episode 269: The Ultimate Top Ten Avengers

Time Travel Tuesdays: The Marvel Zombies Mini-Mates Present… Themselves!

It’s a new Time Travel Tuesdays, friends, and I’ve been eagerly awaiting the end of October to show this one off. We’re traveling back to Oct. 20, 2007, when I decided to do my first-ever toy review column over at the then-Comixtreme.com. As I started to present the Mini-Mates figures based on the Marvel Zombies, though… well… things got a little out of hand. Even now, three years later, this is one of my favorite pieces I’ve ever written. I do, however, think my photography skills have gotten at least a tad better since then. I hope you all enjoy it!

The Marvel Zombie Mini-Mates Present… Themeslves!

Hey, friends. I’d promised you all a sort of photo-intensive examination of a new toy line to go along with my frequent and expansive Halloween celebration. The thing with these toys is… well… they sort of have brains of their own… and they want to eat yours, while we’re on the subject. So in the interest of keeping my own cerebellum intact, I agreed to step back behind the camera and let the guys speak for themselves. Oh – and you can click on every picture for a bigger one. Luke Cage made sure I told you that. So, without further ado, allow me to present…

THE MARVEL ZOMBIES MINI-MATES!

ZOMBIE COLONEL AMERICA: Greetings, meatbags! I am Colonel America, one-time leader of the Avengers, and now leader of this dandy little band of flesh-eaters. Y’see, when our Earth started to get overrun by a zombie plague—

ZOMBIE SPIDER-MAN: Thank you very much, Quicksilver!

ZOMBIE COLONEL AMERICA: –Ahem. Yes. Well, when our world got overrun, at first we fought against infection, but when we got bit ourselves… well…

ZOMBIE POWER MAN: It was awesome.

ZOMBIE HULK: Zombie Hulk hungry! Zombie Hulk eat Fuzzy Man With Camera?

ZOMBIE COLONEL AMERICA: Not yet, Hulk. So anyway, we decided to take this opportunity to introduce ourselves to you. To show you just what we’re capable of. And most importantly, to make you realize…

ZOMBIE COLONEL AMERICA: There is no escape!

ZOMBIE GIANT-MAN: Hi! I’m Zombie Giant-Man.
ZOMBIE DAREDEVIL: And I’m Zombie Daredevil. The first MARVEL ZOMBIES MINI-MATES set included five figures… and we weren’t among them. We came in this exclusive two-pack you could only get at the San Diego Comic Con… or, like Blake, from a guy who owns a comic shop and attended the San Diego Comic Con.  

ZOMBIE DAREDEVIL: You will discover, however, that this does nothing to decrease our general level of Awesometude. If you look closely, you’ll see that the chunks that have been taken out of my flesh are represented by clear plastic. At least that’s what they tell me – even as a zombie, I’m blind. I also come with these two handy fighting staffs that I can hold thusly or stuck in the little pouch on my belt, where they will almost immediately fall out. Oh – and I got trained by a Ninja.

ZOMBIE GIANT-MAN: Hey, gang! I’m Zombie Giant-Man, and with me today is the zombified head of my ex-wife, the Wasp.

ZOMBIE WASP: Hello, snookums!

ZOMBIE GIANT-MAN: Jan here actually came in the box set with the other guys, but since we don’t have too much quality time together these days, we thought we’d do this together. You can tell we’re zombies, of course, by the cold, dead glare in our eyes and the huge, ravenous teeth painted onto our interchangeable plastic Mini-Mate heads. 

ZOMBIE WASP: Zombies or Rosie O’Donnell. RIMSHOT!

ZOMBIE GIANT-MAN: Yes, dear.

ZOMBIE WASP: You’d think being reduced to a starving, undead, disembodied head would strain a relationship, but aside from not being able to change my costume as much as I used to, things are pretty much the same. 

ZOMBIE POWER-MAN: Well, now that the bit players are out of the way, it’s time for the big boys to step up, and we’re starting with me! SWEET HALLOWEEN!

Get it? Because I used to say “Sweet Christmas” when I was alive and it was the 70s and… ah, never mind.

Anyway, I’m Luke Cage, sometimes called Power Man, and I’m still the baddest chunk of plastic in the toy chest. Daredevil thinks he’s tough ‘cause he has a couple of holes? Check me out! My whole left side is missin’, and I’ll still whip anyone tries to get between me… and lunch. Heh heh heh… 

ZOMBIE WOLVERINE: Hey, bub – Wolverine here, the most popular mutant in all comicdom. When I was alive, I had ultra-heightened senses, nifty retractable claws, unbreakable bones, an awesome healing factor and the ability to appear in 74 comic books a week! Now that I’m dead, the healing factor seems to have gone on the fritz, but the rest of the stuff works just dandy. I may not know how me turning into a zombie jives with what Marc Guggenheim is writing about me fightin’ death over in my own comic, but I have learned one other thing these claws of mine are great for… shish-ke-bob!  

ZOMBIE HULK: RAAAAWR!!! ZOMBIE HULK STILL HUNGRY!!!! 

ZOMBIE SPIDER-MAN: Um… thanks, Hulk.

ZOMBIE HULK: Stupid Brain-Head Man tells Hulk he can’t eat Fuzzy Man With Camera… Hulk need meat… Hulk misses Doritos…

ZOMBIE SPIDER-MAN: Hello, gang. I’m your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man! Well… I guess I’m not all that friendly anymore. I was one of the first guys to encounter the whole zombie plague. Unfortunately, after I got infected, I didn’t turn right away, but managed to get home first where I… um… well, I ate my wife and my Aunt May.

I know, I’m still kinda torn up about that.

But… but it’s still better than what Joe Quesada is doing to ‘em over in One More Day! Right?

GHOST RIDER: I am the Ghost Rider! Spirit of vengeance! Keeper of the eternal Hellfire and my blazing—
ZOMBIE COLONEL AMERICA: NO! NO, NO, NO!

ZOMBIE COLONEL AMERICA: For the last time, you are not a zombie! Now get out of our pumpkin patch!

GHOST RIDER: Fine, fine… didn’t want to be in your stupid article anyway…

ZOMBIE COLONEL AMERICA: And you better not be Nicolas Cage under there, either!!!

ZOMBIE COLONEL AMERICA: And that leaves me, folks, Colonel America. Once the Sentinel of Liberty, now I’m the leader of this motley bunch of brain-eaters. Even having my own brain exposed hasn’t gotten me down, though – I’m undead and lovin’ every minute of it! Some people have asked me why I’m a colonel while most of my counterparts throughout the multiverse have achieved the rank of Captain. Well, what can I say? I’d hate for it to be seen as unprofessional when I… have lunch with the enlisted men! Bwaa-haha!!

The zombie virus also gives us all terrible senses of humor.

ZOMBIE COLONEL AMERICA: So that’s us, folks, the Marvel Zombie Mini-Mates! We hope you’ve enjoyed this little look into our lives, and if we show up for dinner some night, we hope you’ll have us!
…cause you know we’d be eager to have you! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! HAHAHA—

WHOP!

SPLORTCH!

ZOMBIE COLONEL AMERICA: –HAHA—THE HELL???

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Look out, you disgusting ghouls!

POWER MAN: The real Marvel Mini-Mates are here to show you who’s boss!

ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN: Hey, how come you have to take off your hand when you wear your shield?

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Shut up…

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Avengers Assemble!

ZOMBIE COLONEL AMERICA: Zombie Avengers… um… Get ‘em!

POWER MAN: “Sweet Halloween?” “SWEET HALLOWEEN?” You know how long it took me to get them to stop writing “Sweet Christmas?”
ZOMBIE POWER MAN: Aw, c’mon, don’t treat a brother this way!

POWER MAN: “Brother?” Well look out, “Brother,” I’m gonna use your plastic guts to decorate my Haunted House!

DAREDEVIL: I may be “Battle-Damaged,” but I can still whip YOUR lousy—OW! OW! Can somebody get the Zombie Wasp off my ankle, please?
ZOMBIE WASP: Nom nom nom…

POW!

POW!

DAREDEVIL: Whammo! Double Boot To Da Head!

THWOCK!

ZOMBIE WASP: Hey, sweetie.

ZOMBIE GIANT-MAN: …

WOLVERINE: Hi-YAH! Uh… I mean, SNIKT!

ZOMBIE WOLVERINE: Ow! Hey! You cut me in half!

WOLVERINE: That’s right! Now you can make twice as many guest appearances a month! Heh… heh…

ZOMBIE HULK: Zombie Hulk SMASH!
KILOWOG: Bring it on, ya Poozer! I’ll rip ya limb from—

ZOMBIE HULK: Hey, wait. You not not-dead version of Zombie Hulk. You Pink Green Lantern!
KILOWOG: Yyyyeah, about that… Blake doesn’t have a Hulk Mini-Mate toy. I volunteered to fill in.

ZOMBIE HULK: Zombie Hulk been reading Sinestro Corps War! Zombie Hulk think you da MAN!

KILOWOG: Really? Aw, shucks, that’s sweet of you to say…

ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN: I mean, you ate Mary Jane and Aunt May? How sick are you?
ZOMBIE SPIDER-MAN: I know, I know! :sob: Oh, kick me again! I deserve it! :sob:

ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN: And another thing – knock it off with all the variant covers! It was cute at first, but how many times are you gonna reprint the hardcover with different covers before you put out a paperback?

ZOMBIE SPIDER-MAN: Oh, God, it’s all my fault! I’m a terrible – hey, why don’t you have any webs on your costume?

ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN: Because I’m ULTIMATE!

ZOMBIE COLONEL AMERICA: Looks like it’s down to me and you, you pansy.
CAPTAIN AMERICA: Ready when you are, you psychopath.

ZOMBIE COLONEL AMERICA: Time to show you how we do things in my America.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: America? America isn’t your country, monster, it’s HELL!

ZOMBIE COLONEL AMERICA: Haven’t you given that speech before?

CAPTAIN AMERICA: That was an issue of What If? , it doesn’t count.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: You know why you’re going to lose, monster?
ZOMBIE COLONEL AMERICA: Oh – hey, wait—

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Because we’re fighting for truth! Because we’re fighting for JUSTICE!

ZOMBIE COLONEL AMERICA: :gurgle:

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Because real Americans don’t eat other Americans!*

*Editor’s Note-Captain America considers all known cannibals to be de facto Canadians, including Jeffrey Dahmer, Alferd Packer, and of course, Rosie O’Donnell.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Okay, let’s get these monsters back into their box.
ZOMBIE HULK: ‘BYE, PINK LANTERN!

KILOWOG: Bye, ya Poozer! Y’know, he wasn’t so bad…

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Close it, Logan!

CHARLIE BROWN: Mr… Um… Captain? Sir? Can we have our Pumpkin Patch back now?
SNOOPY: Ah, the Captain! So good to see him again. Why, I remember that time in occupied France when we met those saucy waitresses…

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Why, sure, kids! The zombies are all defeated, and back in the box. It’s perfectly safe here now. Why…

CAPTAIN AMERICA: What else could possibly happen?

Iron Mini-Mates!

There wasn’t much chance to discuss my little Mini-friends during the Halloween Party, but I have picked up a few more over the last month or so that I thought I’d review for you guys. It’s a few months late, but we got a line of Mini-Mates based on the awesome Iron Man movie. (Intriguingly, we also got some toys based on The Incredible Hulk. The toys came out before the Iron Mantoys, but the movie came out later. How’d that happen?)

Anyway, let’s take a look at some of these toys:

Pepper Potts and Iron Man Mark III

First up, we have Gwynneth Paltrow as Pepper Potts and the Iron Man Mark III two-pack. With Mini-Mates, it’s not really an issue to try to make the toy look like the actor it’s based on. Which bodes well for the upcoming Mini-Mates based on The Spirit.

Tony Stark and the Iron Monger

Also available, the two-pack featuring Iron Man’s alter-ego Tony Stark, and his arch-nemesis, the Iron Monger. Now if these things were built to scale, of course, Iron Monger should be much bigger. But what the hey?

One of the cool things about Mini-Mates is how often they come with alternate heads or body parts that allow you to customize the various versions of the character. Here are a few examples from the Iron Man Mini-Mates:

Unmasked Iron Man and Iron Monger

Both of these toys come with “human” heads under the iron ones. Iron Monger is fine, but Iron Man is a tad disappointing. It looksgreat, but in terms of functionality, it’s not that hot. The faceplate of the mask detaches, which is cool, but it comes off WAY too easy. I dropped it while I was setting up this shot and nearly lost it in the couch cushion nether region along with years of forgotten Cheetos and $8.27 in change. He also comes with alternate legs — I guess these are supposed to be prototype legs, but they don’t even fit. The hip sockets are too big. “A” for visuals, “C” for playability.

I also got the four-pack of Iron Man and three of his teammates in the original Avengers!

The Hulk, Ant-Man, the Wasp and Golden Iron Man

Here are four of the five original Avengers, all of whom I am now noticing are leaning slightly to the right in this photograph. I have no idea how that happened. Let’s just pretend this picture was taken on the bridge of the Starship Enterprise just after it got hit by a photon torpedo. Anyway, the Hulk, Ant-Man, the Wasp and Iron Man in his second suit of armor — the one with the gold paint and the skirt — first came together in Avengers #1, along with the mighty Thor, who no doubt is sitting around pouting somewhere because they only make Mini-Mate sets in four-character units and someone decided to ditch him. Like the Iron Man toys, several of these came in alternate versions.

The Wasp and Giant-Man

Not long after they joined the Avengers, Ant-Man figured out how to make himself grow instead of just shrink, so he ditched his helmet for a mask and took on the name “Giant Man.” His wife, the Wasp, made a small modification to her costume as well. I’m just noticing here that the Ant-Man and Wasp Mini-Mate figures are actually life-size, while Giant Man is on a much smaller scale.

Tony Stark, Janet Van Dyne & Hank Pym

And finally, three of the figures came equipped with hair to add to create their civilian identities: Tony Stark (who also came with a golden battering ram for no apparent reason), Janet Van Dyne, and Hank Pym. I’ve always had a soft spot for the original Avengers, and I’m thinking of picking up the original Invaders set they’ve put out just to go along with these so I can have an early Captain America too. Now is there a Mini-Thor available anywhere?

NaNoWriMo Update:

The story is coming along swimmingly, friends. I’m only 500 words short of today’s goal, and I’ve got no doubt I can make that in the next hour or so. Don’t forget, yesterday’s post will give you a running count of where I stand on NaNoWriMo for the whole month!